


Let Him Go

by queenbree17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Bobby owns a garage, Dean has a son, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Heaven, John is homophobic, M/M, cas is an editor, dean has a yorkie, dean's bi, gabriel has a bar, the gates of heaven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 42,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3104663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbree17/pseuds/queenbree17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas first meets Dean when Dean's Yorkie gets out, and not long after that they get together. But what Dean doesn't know i that Cas still can't let go of his past boyfriend even after several years and that might just come back to bite them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im hoping to update regularly. hope you enjoy and feel free to leave comments and tell me what you thought! i can also be found on tumblr at queenbree17 i will gladly take requests!!

Cas paid for his coffee and walked out into the cold December morning. He hurried down the street, eager to get home. Last night had been rough. He had had to hunt down his writer, Chuck, and tell him off for missing the deadline, yet again, and then he had to deal with the writer’s mental breakdown from all the pressure. Cas sighed, wondering how he always ended up being the editor for incapable writers.

Half his coffee was gone by the time his apartment came into view. He quickened his pace until he made it into the building. He climbed the stairs—cursing the person who broke the elevator—to the third floor, ready to get some sleep. Just as he was putting his key into the lock a yipping little ball of fur barreled into his legs. The brown ball of fur ran around Cas’s feet, yapping the whole time. Cas reached down and picked up the small dog who in turn reached up to lick at his face.

“Hey there, buddy,” Cas said scratching the dogs head, “Where’d you come from?” He felt for a collar but found none. “No collar, huh?”

“Cinnamon! Here, girl, here! Where are you, Cinnamon?” someone shouted from around the corner.

Cas looked up and saw a tall bow legged man jogging his way. He stopped in front of Cas, reaching for the dog. “There you are, girl. I was really worried.” The man smiled at Cas and held out his hand, “Thanks man, my yorkie darted out my front door and I don’t know what I’d do without her. I’m Dean, by the way.”

Cas gave him a small smile. This man with broad shoulders and toned arms did not strike Cas as the sort of person to have a small, yapping, fuzzy dog. “It was no problem. I’m Cas.”

“Nice to meet you, Cas,” Dean replied, “I live at the end of the hallway, last door on the right.”

Cas nodded awkwardly, he really had no interest in knowing where Dean lived. All he wanted was to get inside his apartment and sleep.

Fortunately, Dean’s phone started blaring some old rock song. Dean looked at his phone and said, “I gotta take this. I’ll see you around, Cas.”

Cas said goodbye and turned to continue unlocking his door. Once inside his apartment he bee lined straight for his room and didn’t even bother taking his shoes off before collapsing in his bed and falling asleep.

When Cas woke the sun was starting to set. He got up and rubbed his groggy eyes before moving to the kitchen to heat up some leftovers. He had just sat down to eat when his phone started ringing.

“Hello?” He said, pushing his food around his plate.

“Cas, hey it’s Gabriel,” the person on the other end of the phone said, “I was wondering if you wanted to come out and have some fun.”

Cas stabbed at his lasagna and stuffed it into his mouth, “By fun you mean you want to test your newest alcoholic drink on me.”

Gabriel was Cas’s brother and Cas was Gabriel’s guinea pig. He liked to call Cas down to the bar he owned and make him taste test different mixtures of alcohol that he had made. “Come one, Cas, I think I made a winner this time, you have to come and try it.” Gabriel whined, “I know last time my drink made you sick for days, but I was more careful this time.”

Cas took another bite of his food before giving in, “Fine, I’ll come in about half an hour.”

“Thank you!” Gabriel shouted over the line before hanging up.

Half an hour later Cas was bundled up in his coat and heading back out into the biting cold. He walked down several blocks before a sign reading _The Trickster’s_ came into view. He opened the door to find his brother’s bar bursting with people like always, Cas pushed his way through the crowd of people to get to the other side. When Gabriel saw him he pointed to a stool at the end of the bar by the wall before turning back to the girl he was flirting with. Cas quietly slipped into the seat and looked around. Bars weren’t really his thing, he would rather spend his evenings at home watching TV or maybe reading. He did not want to be here.

“Cas?” a deep voice asked from behind him.

Cas turned around to find Dean smiling down at him.

“Hey, I didn’t know you came here.”

 _How could you,_ thought Cas, _we just met this morning._ Instead of speaking his mind he pasted a smile on and said, “Yeah, I know the owner.”

“You lucky bastard, you probably get free drinks all the time.”

 _Yep, I’m the lucky bastard,_ Cas thought sarcastically. “Only when Gabriel’s not pissed at me.”

Dean laughed and let his hand fall on Cas’s shoulder. Before he could say anything else Gabriel walked over and beamed at his brother.

“Cas, so good to see you.” He said with bright smile. “And Dean, glad you’re here, just like every night.”

“Just give me your drink, Gabriel, so I can go home.”

“Hey, you can’t go home,” Dean said, moving to lean against the counter, “you just got here.”

Not knowing what to say, Cas held his hand out to his brother. Gabriel pulled a glass and a bottle out from under the counter and placed it in front of Cas. Brown liquid sloshed in the bottle and Cas started to have second thoughts about tasting this. Gabriel poured it into the glass and pushed it across the bar.

As Cas picked up the glass, he saw Dean turn, his attention caught by a pretty blonde. Before he had a chance to back out he tossed his head back, chugging the drink. When all of it was gone Cas handed the glass back to Gabriel and shook his head in disgust. “That was awful, what the hell was in it?”

“I’m not really sure,” Gabriel said with a laugh, “I made it earlier and I just had people name different drinks to add to it.”

“Well it sucks.” Cas said, “and you suck too.”

Gabriel laughed and glanced at Dean who had moved farther down the bar and was leaning in close to the blonde. “I saw you flirting with Dean. Glad to see that you are getting back out there, although I didn’t peg you as someone to go after a guy like him.”

“What? No, I wasn’t flirting with him, he came up to me.”

“Oh,” Gabriel said with a knowing smile even though Cas had no idea what there was he could possibly know. “So Dean started flirting with you.”

Cas shook his head, “He was just saying hi. We ran into each other this morning.”

“Sure,” Gabriel said with a wink. “He’s a pretty good catch for you, I think. He may be here every night, but he doesn’t drink that much.”

“Why are you pushing this?” Cas asked a bit exasperated. “I’m fine by myself. Besides, I don’t think he’s even gay, he’s over there with a woman.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and popped open a beer to hand to Cas, “There’s such a thing as being bi, baby brother.”

Cas sighed, “Well, I’m not interested.”

He took a swig of the beer and promptly doubled over, spewing vomit all over the floor. Gabriel hopped over the bar and reached for his brother. “Cas, are you okay?”

Cas sat up a little, “I think it was that crap drink you gave me.” He said before passing out.

Dean, hearing Cas upchuck, left the blonde and hurried to see if he was alright. He looked at Gabriel, who was struggling to keep Cas from falling over, “Here, let me help.”

Dean easily pulled Cas off the stool and slung one of his arms over his shoulder, “What happened?”

“It must have been the drink I gave him,” Gabriel said. “He’s never passed out before, only been sick when he has one of my drinks.”

“What kind of drink was it? Is he allergic to anything?” Dean asked, Concern obvious in his voice. If Gabriel wasn’t so worried about his brother he would have poked at Dean for being so concerned for someone he hardly knew.

Gabriel could only shrug as he stared at his unconscious brother, “He’s not allergic to anything and the drink was a concoction of several drinks.”

Dean looked at Gabriel like he was nuts, “Well, I can take him home.”

Gabriel seemed reluctant to let his passed out little brother out of his sight, but Dean said, “I’ll take care of him.”

“Okay,” Gabriel finally said, “I wish I could go with, but I don’t close for another several hours.”

“It’s okay, he’ll be fine.” Dean said as he secured his hand around Cas’s waist. Gabriel watched as Dean pulled Cas out the door. When Dean stepped outside he swung Cas up into his arms bridal style and carried him home. At the apartment Dean had to hold Cas up with one hand while he fished around in Cas’s pockets for his keys.

Once inside he carried Cas to the couch before pulling the passed out man’s shoes and coat off. Dean reached down to feel his forehead and found it pretty warm. He turned to look for the bathroom so he could get a cool compress. After he had made Cas as comfortable as he could he settled down into the recliner that sat next to the couch since he wasn’t just going to leave Cas passed out alone.

Dean looked around to find a TV in one corner, a bookshelf full of books against one wall, and a small coffee table. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on, flipping through the channels until he found a Godzilla marathon. Dean kicked off his shoes and got comfy.

He tried to watch the movie, but his eyes kept wondering over to the couch where Cas lay. There had been something about him that first time Dean had seen him. Something inside of him just went, _that’s him. He’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with._ He soon fell asleep, watching Cas.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here chapter two, i might post the next chapter later today too

Cas woke up to the sound of someone in his kitchen. He sat up, disoriented, and looked around He was still in the clothes he had put on last night, but he was back at his place. The last thing he remembered was drinking Gabriel’s drink and then some beer. They must have mixed wrong in his stomach, making him sick. Cas cursed his brother for once again getting him sick with one of his stupid drinks.

He slowly got up and moved to the kitchen to see who was there. He was expecting to see Gabriel with some sort of apology breakfast, but instead he found a tall man scrambling eggs over his stove. For a split second he thought it was someone long gone, but when he rubbed his eyes, he saw Dean, the guy who lived down the hall. Dean whistled as he cooked, swaying his hips a bit in time to the whistling. Cas cleared his throat, “What are you doing here?”

Dean turned around, pan in hand, “Oh thank God you woke up.” He said, scooping cooked eggs onto a plate, “I was worried I’d have to call the doctor if you didn’t wake up. Here, come sit down. I made eggs. You didn’t have any in your fridge so I had to run to my place, but that’s alright.”

Dean whizzed around the kitchen like he’d done it a million times. He placed the plate on the small table, led Cas to the chair, handed him a fork that he had pulled from a drawer, and proceeded to get Cas water.

It was all real disorienting for Cas, whose brain was still a little fuzzy from the after effects of the drink and sleep. He got up from his chair and grabbed Dean’s arm, pulling him out of the kitchen and to the front door. “Thank you for making sure I was okay.” He said as he opened the door, “As you can see I’m fine now, so I no longer require your assistance. I’ll see you around.”

With that Cas practically shoved Dean out of his apartment and shut the door in his face. He leaned against the door and let out a breath of air. Seeing Dean bustling around in his apartment had stirred up memories of things Cas would rather not think about.

After several minutes of deep breathing he pushed himself up from the door and went to take a shower. When he was finished he wrapped a towel around his hips and went to find his phone.

“Hello?” a sleepy voice said on the other end.

“Wake up, Gabriel,” Cas said as he inspected the eggs that still sat on the table. They looked pretty good. He picked up the fork and stabbed into them, “Why was Dean in my apartment this morning?”

“Dean stayed the night?” Gabriel asked around a yawn, “Congrats, little bro. I didn’t think you had the balls to invite him home.”

Cas chewed his eggs while rolling his eyes. “I passed out at your bar, I didn’t invite anyone home, no thanks to your god awful drink.”

“Yeah, about that, sorry for making you sick again.” Gabriel said.

Cas said nothing back, spearing more eggs onto his fork. He had to admit that Dean made some really good eggs.

“Dean took you home after you passed out since I couldn’t,” Gabriel explained, “I guess he stayed there while you slept to make sure you were all right. If you ask me I think he has a thing for you.”

“I told you,” Cas said as he put his plate in the sink, “I’m not interested in any kind of relationship.”

“And I told you that you need to get over that loser. Just let him go, brother. He’s gone and he’s not coming back.” Said Gabriel, “Don’t let that dick rule what you do.”

Cas grimaced, he hated whenever this topic came up. “Easier said than done.”

“Get drunk. Get laid. Have fun.” Gabriel said over the line, “Moping around is for lame-os.”

Cas let out a short laugh, “That sounds like your life motto.”

“You know it, baby bro!” Gabriel shouted. There was a lull of silence before Gabriel spoke seriously, “You do know that he’s not coming back, right?”

“Yeah,” Cas said quietly, “I know, I’ve made my peace with that. I also know that I don’t think I’m ready to move on.”

“Dean would be good for you, I know him, he’s good.”

“Whatever,” Cas said, ready for this conversation to end, “Oh and Gabriel, I’m not testing any more of your drinks.”

Gabriel whined as Cas hung up on him. In a way he knew that his brother was right. He had been in a relationship with this guy named Balthazar for years, then all of a sudden two year ago Balthazar said it was over and left for England the same day. Cas had thought he was the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with. They had been great together and nothing seemed wrong. Balthazar just came home one day, packed, said goodbye, and left with no explanation.

Cas opened the fridge, looking for milk. He found it, but unfortunately it was a week expired. As he pulled the rank milk from the fridge he saw a carton of eggs on the top shelf. When did he buy eggs? Oh, that’s right. Dean had brought them over. Should he give them back? It’s not like Dean had had a chance to grab them before Cas had thrown him out of his apartment.

Cas poured the old milk down the drain, thinking about what he should do. Before he could decide his phone went off. He threw the now empty milk carton into the trash and picked up his phone.

“Hello, Chuck,” he said to his writer. “How’s the book going?”

“I’ve finished,” Chuck said, barely letting Cas finish talking before he answered. “I finished my book.”

“That’s great, Chuck, I’ll come over now to look it over.” Cas said before hanging up and moving to his room so he could get dressed. He’s glad that Chuck had actually finished his book, even though it was about two weeks after the deadline. Once most of his other writers missed their deadline they became unmotivated and unwilling to finish their book.

Cas paused on his way to the door when the kitchen came into view. Dean’s eggs were still in the fridge. Without stopping to think, Cas grabbed the egg carton and headed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to leave comments


	3. Chapter 3

Last door on the right, is what Dean had said. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Cas locked his apartment and headed to the end of the hall. He knocked on what he hoped really was Dean’s door before he could chicken out.

When the door opened Dean gave Cas a bright smile, “Hey, how you feeling?”

Cas held out the egg carton, a little flustered from the smile. Gabriel’s word from earlier on the phone ran through his head. Dean _did_ seemed like a nice guy, and he was pretty handsome with apple green eyes and light brown hair. “I’m feeling better, thank you. I just came to give you your eggs back and say thank you again for taking care of me. Could I make it up to you by getting you some coffee sometime?”

Cas wasn’t sure where the offer to get Dean coffee came from, he had just been planning to give him the eggs and leave. Now here he stood with Dean smiling at him.

“I’d love to get coffee with you. If you aren’t busy I can go now since you’re dressed.” Dean said, gesturing at Cas’s coat.

Cas stared for a moment, he hadn’t really expected Dean to accept his offer. “Uh, yeah, we can go now, I’m in no rush.”

“Awesome, let me just grab my shoes and coat, come on in.” Dean said, moving away from the door.

Cas walked into Dean’s apartment and his yorkie promptly jumped at him. He bent over and picked up the small brown ball of fur as Dean went to his room. Cinnamon licked at Cas’s hands and tried to lick at his face too. Cas smiled down at the dog, he had never had a dog.

“It’s weird,” Dean said as he came out of his room, pulling his coat on, “She normally is terrified of everyone, but she’s taken a liking to you. I guess she just has good taste in people.”

Cas looked up, what had Dean meant by that? He hardly knew Cas, how could he know if he was a good person or not. Dean only smirked at him before heading for the door. Cas gently put Cinnamon on the floor and stepped out into the hall.

“So where were you headed before you asked me out for coffee?” Dean asked as he held the lobby door open for Cas.

 _Asked him out? Was this a date?_ Cas thought to himself. “I’m an editor for a publishing company and my writer just finished his book so I was going to go see him so we could scan through it together.”

Dean turned his collar up as a gust of cold wind blew down the sidewalk, “But couldn’t it wait? I mean I think you should really be resting after last night.”

“I’m fine, Gabriel’s drinks have made me sick before. Besides, my writer was supposed to be finished with his book two weeks ago so now I have to rush through editing and everything.” Cas said. It had been a while since he had talked to someone outside of work—his brother didn’t count—and he felt a little awkward talking to Dean. He kept babbling even when his mind told him to shut up. “For some reason I always end up with writers who are incapable of staying on schedule. At first I thought it had just been normal for all writers to miss their deadline, but after talking to other editors I found out it was just mine. I think it’s because my boss doesn’t like me so he gives me the ones no one else want to take on.”

Cas stopped talking and smiled shyly at Dean, “Sorry for rambling. I really don’t have anyone to vent to.”

“Don’t apologize,” Dean said as they ordered their coffee, “You can vent to me anytime you want.”

When they got their coffee Dean led them to a table near the window. “So this writer of yours, have you worked with him before?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I’ve been his editor since he first started writing two years ago and he’s always stressed and sometimes drunk. I don’t even think he likes writing that much anymore, but for some reason he keeps going.”

“Sounds like a tough son of a bitch,” Said Dean as he took a swig of his coffee, “What’s being an editor like anyways?”

Cas squinted his eyes, trying to think of how he’d describe it, “Boring sometimes, but also exciting because you get to take what people have written and help make them better. Some days I hate the job, but others I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.” Cas looked up at Dean, “How about you, what do you do?”

Dean’s small smile grew, “I know what you mean about not being able to imagine doing something else. I love my job. I work for my uncle at his repair shop. Most people would think that it’s not that exciting, but I just think it’s so cool how I can take a piece of crap and get it running again.”

“That does sound pretty cool,” said Cas.

“You should come to the shop and I could show you firsthand what I do.” Dean said with a wink.

Cas wasn’t really sure what that meant, so he just ignored it and searched for something to talk about before they lapsed into awkward silence, “So do you have anything planned for today?”

“Later this afternoon I’m taking my son to a baseball game,” Dean said before leaning forward across the table, “Why do you ask? Are you trying to get an extension for this date?”

 _What?!_ That is not what Cas had been trying to get at! He opened his mouth to say something, but he just stammered, “Uh, no I, uh…”

Dean threw his head back and laughed, “Geez, I was just kidding, Cas. You look like a deer in headlights.”

Dean wiped at his eyes and smiled at a now blushing Cas, “I know this isn’t a date, Cas” he said. Cas nodded, refusing to look up. Dean leaned across the table again and gently touched Cas’s hands, “Unless you want it to be.”

Cas’s face flushed even more and Dean laughed again, but didn’t move his hand away and neither did Cas. To be honest, Cas liked the feel of Dean’s rough fingers against the side of his hand.

“I, uh,” Cas said, clearing his throat, “I didn’t know you had a kid.”

Dean’s smile faded a little and he began tapping his index finger against Cas’s hand. He was a little frustrated, noted Cas. “Yeah I have a kid. He’s ten and I didn’t know about him until two years ago.”

Cas flipped his hand over without thinking and Dean started drawing circles in his palm. He wasn’t even looking at Cas, his eyes were trained on his finger in Cas’s hand. “You know she didn’t even tell me Ben was my son until last year and that’s only because he kept bugging her about who his dad was.”

“How come you didn’t know about him before two years ago?” Cas asked. He couldn’t tell if Dean was glad or not to be a dad, but he could tell that he was frustrated at Ben’s mom for keeping him in the dark for a year.

“It was completely by chance. Lisa came to my uncle’s shop with Ben and I was there. I recognized her right away and I could tell that she recognized me too, but neither of us said anything. Their car was pretty beat up because they’d had an accident so it took me a while to fix it up and the two of them would swing by some afternoons. Ben was really fascinated at how I was fixing it up so he started coming more and more and I really didn’t think anything of it except that he was a kid interested in cars. At least not until his age came up and how he didn’t know his dad. I went to talk to Lisa about it one day and she denied that he was mine, even though it all added up.” Dean paused and his hand stopped moving too. He gave Cas a small smile, “Sorry, didn’t mean to spill my guts to you.”

“Don’t apologize, you can spill you guts to me anytime.” Cas said, copying Dean’s words from earlier.

Dean’s smile broadened, “I like you Cas, you’re a good guy.”

Cas let out a small chuckle, “You hardly even know me. We don’t even know each other’s last names.”

“Dean Winchester,” Dean said, holding out his hand for Cas.

Cas laughed, he wasn’t sure when he had last felt so light and happy like this. There was just something about Dean that kept him smiling. He took Dean’s calloused hand, “Castiel Novak.”

“Well, Mr. Novak, it is an honor to meet you.” Dean said formally, “I would like to thank you for the coffee and request that we do this again soon.”

 _What a goofball_ , “No need the thank me Mr. Winchester, and I would be delighted to do this again.”

Huge smiles broke across both of their faces and they laughed harder than either of them had in quite some time. The ringing of Cas’s phone quieted them a bit, but Cas was still out of breath from laughing when he answered, “Hello?”

“Hey Cas, It’s Chuck,” said the person on the other end. “Are you alright? You sound out of breath. You haven’t been running have you, because that’s not good for you, especially in this weather.”

“I’m fine, Chuck,” Cas answered, “Did you need something?”

“Well, I was just wondering when you were going to get here. Also do you think you could grab me a case of beer?”

Cas shook his head at his writer. He had made it clear a long time ago that he was not going to buy any alcohol for Chuck, “Give me a half hour and I’ll be there.”

Cas hung up before he was asked again to bring beer. He looked at Dean and smiled sadly, “I gotta go.”

“Okay,” Dean stood up and held the door open for Cas, “You wanna grab coffee tomorrow morning?”

Cas smiled, “Yeah, that’d be great.”

Dean pulled Cas’s phone out of his hand and typed in his number, “Let me know what time.”

With that Dean turned and headed back to the apartments. Cas felt a fluttering in his stomach that hadn’t been there for quite some time. Maybe it wasn’t such a terrible idea to get to know Dean.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, the work rating changed to mature for later chapters

“So?” Chuck asked nervously. Cas’s silence was making him nervous and he was now pacing from one end of his living room to the next.

“It’s good, Chuck,” Cas said, setting a page down, “This Supernatural series is really getting interesting. How long do you plan to make it?”

“Getting interesting?” Chuck exclaimed as he turned to face Cas. “I hate this series, but I can’t get it out of my head. Every time I close my eyes there are the characters on another adventure and it never ends! I was hoping this book would end it, or at least seem like the series was coming to a close.”

Cas reclined back in the couch, “To me it seems like the series is starting to just heat up. How were you planning on ending it?”

“Well,” Chuck said as he reached for a half full bottle of beer, “I was hoping to ship one brother off to hell and make the other spiral down some dark path until he was only a shell of what he used to be, but I don’t know.”

“You’re a talented writer, even if you never meet the deadline,” said Cas, “this is the third book you’ve written since the start of the series, you could definitely make a fourth and final book if you want.”

Chuck plopped down next to Cas with a sigh, “That’d be nice, maybe I’d retire from writing after that.”

Chuck drank the last of his beer and turned to face Cas, “So, tell me, what has you so distracted today?”

Cas looked at Chuck sharply, “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” Chuck chuckled “Cas, you’re always really focused and sometimes, frankly, mean whenever you’re looking over my work, but today you barely said anything. So, what’s on your mind?”

He hadn’t been that distracted today, had he? Sure Cas had thought about Dean a little while he was skimming through Chuck’s long book, but he had been paying attention too. “I wasn’t distracted. I just didn’t have a lot to say about it since your writing has been improving.”

Chuck snorted out a laugh, “Ha! That’s a good one, Cas. My writing sucks and you know it. I don’t know why people keep buying my books and demanding more. Come on, we’ve known each other for two years, you can talk to me.”

Cas had actually just been thinking that they had only known each other for two years, he wasn’t about to pour his heart out to him. _Pour my heart out._ Thought Cas, _What exactly is my heart feeling?_

“It’s nothing,” Cas said, standing up abruptly. “I’ll go over your book more at home and call you later about it.”

With that Cas let himself out of the house and into the evening air. As he walked home, he thought about Dean. Was he starting to have feelings for Dean? Sure Dean had been really nice and it kind of seemed like he had been flirting with Cas this morning. And, yeah, it had felt nice when Dean had been playing with his hand, but was Cas really starting to feel something for Dean? Or was he just trying to fill a hole in his life that even his brother was pushing him to fill?

Cas shook his head. All these feelings inside him swirled around uninvited. Maybe he should just let things play out and see what happened.

Up ahead at the next street corner Cas could see Gabriel’s bar. He fully intended to pass right by it, but at the last second he ducked in. _Today sure is filled with lot of last second decisions,_ thought Cas.

Gabriel wasn’t behind the bar as Cas grabbed a seat. Instead it was a girl that he could never recall the name of. _She had some guy’s name, but what was it?_ _Jordan? Bran?_ Cas thought as he watched her get someone across the bar a drink. She swung her blonde hair over her shoulder and glanced down the bar as if sensing Cas’s eyes on her. She recognized him immediately and smiled as she walked toward him.

 _Jo!_ Cas thought as she leaned on the counter in front of him. “Hey, Cas, what can I get for you?”

“Any beer, will do, thanks, Jo.” Cas said. He looked around the bar, It was full of people as usual, but Gabriel was no were to be seen.

“Hey, where’s my brother?” Cas asked Jo as she handed him a beer.

Jo smirked, “Oh, Gabe’s been pretty busy for the past several hours. He’s been in his office and we were told not to bother him.”

Cas squinted his eyes, “He hates his office, why would he be cooped up in there for hours. Is everything okay?”

Jo’s smirk grew into a smile showing of her white teeth, “Yeah, the bar’s fine and Gabriel sure likes it now, especially since he has someone to keep him company in there.”

Cas tilted his head, “I don’t understand.”

“Tell you what, why don’t you go and check on him,” Jo said. She patted Cas’s hand and moved to take someone’s order.

Still confused, Cas stood up and headed to his brother’s office, his beer forgotten on the bar. He weaved past a few tables and steered around the pool table until he stood outside his brother’s office. He could hear people talking on the other side, but the noise from the bar around him blocked out what was being said.

He knocked on the door and waited. When no one opened the door he knocked again, “Gabriel? Hey, it’s me, Cas.”

He leaned toward the door, listening for an answer, but he couldn’t hear anything. Cas knocked one more time and called, “I’m coming in, Gabriel.”

He slowly pushed the door open. Inside it was dark and he could hear at least two people breathing heavy. Confused, he squinted his eyes to see better in the dark office until they came to rest on two people sprawled on top of each other on the couch.

“Oh, God, I am so sorry!” Cas said, quickly turning to leave, “Jo didn’t tell me . . .”

Cas paused mid-sentence. Jo hadn’t said that his brother was holed up in his office making out with someone, but she had implied it. Cas mentally kicked himself for not catching what she meant. Cas wasn’t even sure if either person in the office had even heard him as he closed the door.

He bee-lined it back to the bar. His seat had been taken and no seats were empty. Cas squeezed between two biker guys and called Jo over, “Let me have whatever you gave me a minute ago, and put it on Gabriel’s tap. He owes me.”

Jo laughed and fetched him his beer. When she came back she asked, “Did you get a good look at the guy he was with?”

Cas shook his head, glad he hadn’t gotten a good look. “It was too dark.”

“I didn’t either when he came in.” Jo said, “All I remember is Gabe telling me not to bother him while he’s in his office then he led this guy in there with him. I only ever saw his back. I wonder who he is. Gabe’s never brought anyone to his office. I honestly thought he just used it as another storage closet.”

 _I really do not wish to know about my brother’s business_ , Cas thought, but he only nodded at Jo, thinking that it’d be rude if he told her to stop talking.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Someone called from down the bar. Jo called back that she’d be there in a moment and turned back to Cas.

“Let’s me know if Gabe tells you anything about this mysterious guy.” Jo said, smiling mischievously.

Cas smiled back even though he did not plan to dig deeper into this. He picked up his beer and headed back out into the cold evening, ready to get home. As he climbed the stairs of his apartment his phone went off. For a moment he hoped it was Dean calling him, but he shook that thought from his head and fished around his pockets for his phone.

 _I really don’t want to answer this,_ He thought when he saw who was calling. The phone kept ringing and Cas sighed before answering it. “Hello,”

“Cas, I am sooooo sorry about whatever it was that you saw.” Gabriel said.

“No, it’s fine,” Cas said, rubbing his forehead as he continued up the stairs. “It was dark, I didn’t really see anything.”

He heard Gabriel let out a breath of air, “Well that makes me feel better. Daniel and I were seriously making out when we heard you apologize. At first I didn’t know it was you until I talked to Jo. She said you were looking for me, what’s up, bro?”

“It’s nothing really, I just . . .” Cas paused, he wasn’t really sure himself why he had wanted to talk to Gabriel. They never really had heart to heart talks, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Well I’m worrying about it now.” Gabriel said. Cas heard another voice and Gabriel let out a low moan.

 _Is he still in his office?_ “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Cas said before hanging up on his brother. As Cas walked to his door his phone went off. It was Gabriel again, but just a text this time.

            i’ll come over tomorow

Cas pushed open his door right as a door slammed open from the other end of the hall. He didn’t think too much about it until he heard Dean’s voice.

“Come on, Lisa!”

“No, Dean, and that’s final. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Come on, Ben, we’re leaving.”

A pretty woman stormed past him, her wavy black hair swirling around her face. Behind her a boy hurried to keep up. _Ben and Lisa_ , Cas thought, _That’s Dean’s son_.

“Lisa! Wait!” Dean called, rushing after them. When he saw Cas he stopped, letting Lisa and Ben disappear down the stairs.

 _I shouldn’t get involved._ “What happened?”

Dean ran his hands through his hair and looked at Cas, his expression pained. He just stared at Cas for a moment and Cas wondered if it had been wrong to pry into Dean’s personnel life.

“You want dinner?” Dean asked suddenly, “Come on, I’ll make you dinner.”

Dean turned and started back to his apartment, not checking to see if Cas was going to follow him. _Would it be rude to not follow him? Maybe I could just let him keep walking and I can go home._ Cas shut his apartment door and walked down the hall to Dean’s apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

Cinnamon greeted Cas as he walked in and shut the door behind him. She darted between his legs and jumped up and down, begging for attention. Cas had never been that big on dogs, but he liked Cinnamon.

“Are you good with burgers?” Dean called from the kitchen.

“I like burgers.” Cas called back. He picked up Cinnamon and moved to the kitchen. Dean’s apartment layout was the same as his, but his décor was quite different. He had several pictures of old cars hanging up and most of his furniture was black, there was one bookcase in the living room and it was filled with car manuals and a bunch of other how-to books. In the kitchen the pantry door was open and Cas could see that it was fully stocked, unlike Cas’s which was just about always empty.

“So that was Lisa and Ben back there, right?” Cas sat down at Dean’s black kitchen table, Cinnamon on his lap.

Dean’s back was to Cas, but he saw his hands clench around the packaging of the patties. “Yeah.”

When he didn’t say anything else Cas let it go. Sure he was curious, but he didn’t want to force Dean to talk about something he wasn’t ready talk about. He knew that feeling all too well. Cas began scratching Cinnamon between the ears while he watched Dean prepare their food. Dean seasoned the patties before throwing them into a pan over the stove before putting a lid on and setting the timer. He moved to the fridge to pull a bunch of condiments from the fridge, then took out two plates and proceeded to set the table. He swatted away Cas’s hands when Cas tried to help. Dean then moved back to the stove to flip the patties. While Dean stood there waiting for them to cook Cas looked him up and down.

Dean had nice broad shoulders and it was obvious that he worked hard at the repair shop from the muscles that could be seen through his shirt. His strong jaw clenched and unclenched as he waited on the burgers. Cas was so busy watching the way Dean’s eyes changed colors when the light hit them at different angles that it took him a moment to realize that those green eyes were staring back at him.

Cas blushed and looked down at the dog that was now sleeping on his lap. The way Dean had been staring at him had reminded him of Balthazar who used to lay next to Cas and they’d just stare at each other, never tiring of tracing each other’s features with their eyes. Cas closed his eyes, he did not want to think of Balthazar.

The sound of a plate being set in front of him made him open his eyes. Cas looked up and thanked Dean before picking up his burger and biting into it. “This is really good,” Cas said, his mouth still full.

Dean chuckled, “Thanks, I like cooking. It’s a guilty pleasure.”

Cas smiled and they ate in silence for a while. _This is nice,_ Cas thought as he chewed. Sitting here with Dean felt natural as if they had done this hundreds of time, as if they hadn’t just met yesterday morning.

“Lisa said that she doesn’t want me around Ben anymore.” Dean said. He put his half eaten burger down and turned his green eyes to Cas. “She said that they’re planning on moving out of state.”

Cas reached across the table and took Dean’s hand. He didn’t know what to say to comfort Dean, so he hoped his hand would be enough.

“She wouldn’t even give me a straight answer about why she doesn’t want me around Ben. I mean, I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything wrong. Ben and I get along great, and I love him.” Dean pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand that wasn’t in Cas’s hand. “I just don’t want to lose him. Ben’s my son and he’s amazing.”

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand, “Losing people is hard, and it hurts like hell.”

Dean laughed and squeezed Cas’s hand back, “I thought you were going to tell me something comforting.”

Cas squinted his eyes and looked down, “I’m sorry. I meant to say something encouraging, but that’s all I could think to say.”

Cas really had meant to say something that wasn’t depressing and that would make Dean feel better. Dean pulled his hand from Cas’s grasp and Cas looked up, worried that he had hurt Dean’s feeling. He was met with a pair of full lips pressing against his. Startled, Cas pulled back, waking the dog that was still on his lap. Cinnamon jumped down and left the kitchen, searching for a place where she wouldn’t be bothered.

Dean still leaned across the table, smiling a smile that set butterflies off in Cas’s stomach. “I’m not going to apologize,” Dean said.

Cas’s only response was to put a hand up to his lips that still tingled a bit from the kiss. He had been too surprised by it to even register if he had like it. Dean’s smile faded a bit as Cas stayed quiet, “Hey, Cas, are you mad that I kissed you?”

Cas reached forward and grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt, yanking him closer. Their lips smashed against each other and this time Cas paid attention. He could feel Dean’s lips turn up a little in a small smile before he hungrily kissed Cas.

Cas felt a hand on his arm, tugging at him to come close. Without breaking away Cas got up from his chair and moved until he was standing in front of Dean. He felt a tongue poke at his lips and Cas opened his mouth, his own tongue roaring up to meet it.

Dean moaned against Cas’s mouth and Cas felt himself getting hard. Before he knew it he was straddling Dean and he had his hands firmly in Dean’s dirty blonde hair. Dean bucked up a bit under Cas, his erection rubbing against the other man’s. His hands had found their way under Cas’s shirt and were now exploring his lower back.

Dean pulled back and smiled at the little whine Cas let out. “I take that you aren’t mad that I kissed you.”

Cas didn’t know what to say. He was really happy that Dean had kissed him, but at the same time he wasn’t sure about any of this. To be honest, maybe Cas was a little afraid of falling for someone, especially after the last time.

Dean was completely unaware of Cas’s inner conflict as he leaned forward and kissed the man’s neck. “This is going to sound cheesy,” Dean said, nipping at Cas’s jaw, “But I fell for you the moment I saw you.”

Dean’s little kisses and nips were threatening to send Cas over the edge. “Dean . . .” Cas tried to say, but Dean only covered his mouth with his own.

Cas shut his eyes and let Dean kiss him. It was amazing, tingles shot up and down his body, heightening his senses. For a moment an image of Balthazar popped into his head and he tensed. He did not want to be thinking him at a time like this. Dean felt Cas tense and he slowly pulled back.

“Is something wrong?” Dean asked. His green eyes were dilated as they roamed across Cas’s face, searching for who knows what.

“No, no,” Cas said. “This is actually really wonderful. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.”

 Dean placed his hands on either side of Cas’s face, forcing him to look up so he could stare into his blue blue eyes. “I may have just met you, Cas, but I can tell that something is bothering you. Is it that we are moving fast? Or is all of this just making you uncomfortable?”

Cas reached up to run a finger across Dean’s lips, “It’s none of that, Dean.”

“You promise?”

 _You promise?_ The words were innocent enough, but they stabbed deep into Cas. Memory after memory flooded into Cas’s mind. Him and Balthazar at the beach, Balthazar running towards him in the rain, Cas watching Balthazar as he watched his favorite movie. And then there was Balthazar smiling face whenever they laid together in the dark.

_I love you._

_I love you too, Cas, I’ll love you forever._

_You promise?_

_I promise._

But he had broken that promise. No one ever really kept their promises. The world was full of shattered promises and broken hearts.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice pulled him back. Cas looked up to see worry etched on Dean’s face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I should get going.” Cas stood up and looked around for a second before heading to the door.

“Hey, Cas, wait a moment.” Dean called, hurrying after Cas, “Don’t go. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Cas didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing and kept walking. He walked right out of Dean’s apartment and past his. As he headed down the stairs he heard Dean’s voice getting quieter as he descended. _He must have stopped at the top of the stairs_ , Cas thought, numbly.

He pushed open the front door of his building and walked out into the cold. Cas just walked, nowhere specific in mind. Fifteen minutes later he stopped and looked around. Somehow he had made his way to _The Trickster’s_. Cas thought about turning around and heading home, maybe Dean wouldn’t be waiting for him demanding an explanation. The cold wind whipped around Cas, as if telling him to go back home, or maybe back to Dean and talk to him.

“Cas?”

Cas turned around, Gabriel stood in the doorway of his bar, letting the noise from inside out.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Gabriel asked, walking to Cas.

 _What am I supposed to say? That my ex-boyfriend who I thought I was finally getting over keeps pushing his way back into my mind and almost everything reminds me of him?_ Cas only stared at his brother, but Gabriel seemed to understand. He spread his arms out and Cas fell into them. Gabriel hugged his brother tight, trying to reassure him that he was there.

Cas sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut. The two of them stood there for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other’s embrace with the biting wind swirling around them. They might have hugged each other for hours, but the bar door opened and someone called for Gabriel,

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” Gabriel pulled Cas up straight and looked up at his little brother. “You’ve gotten through two years of this crap, you can get through this.”

Gabriel took Cas’s hand and led him through the bar and to the back where his office was. “Why don’t you hang out in my office till the bar closes then you can come stay the night with me.”

The mention of Gabriel’s office pulled Cas out of his stupor a bit. “I’m not going to hang out in your office where you did god knows what in there with god knows who.”

“His name is Daniel,” Gabriel said defensively, “And I cleaned my office afterwards.”

Cas let out a long sigh before entering his brother’s office. It was pretty clean, Cas could even smell the lemony smell of the cleaner that had been used. Cas pulled off his jacket and heard the crinkle of paper. Out of his deep jacket pocket he pulled the rolled up manuscript of Chuck’s novel.

“Oh, good,” Gabriel said from the doorway, “You brought some work to do.”

“Yeah,” Cas replied, “Chuck finally finished his book.”

“You’ll have to tell me about this one before it gets published.” Gabriel was a fan of Chuck’s books. He was always bugging Cas to give him spoilers about what was going to happen next. Cas smile a bit at his brother’s nerdyness.

Gabriel left, pulling the office door shut behind him and Cas was left alone with only his thoughts and Chuck’s writing. Before any unwanted thoughts could force their way to the front of Cas’s mind he moved to the big wooden desk to get started of editing Chuck’s writing.

Cas was about to plop down in the chair behind the desk when the office door swung open, banging off the wall. Gabriel stood in the doorway, his eyes wide, “I wouldn’t use the desk if I were you.”

Cas stepped away from the desk and gave it a skeptical look. Nothing about it seemed abnormal, but knowing his brother, looks could be deceiving. Cas opened his mouth to ask about the desk, but Gabriel didn’t give him the chance, “Don’t ask about it. You don’t want to know.”

And with that not at all weird announcement Gabriel left. Cas took another step away from the desk and looked around the office. The only other place to sit was the couch, and he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to sit there either. After several minutes of circling the office for somewhere to sit, Cas settled down on a sealed box labeled _BILLS_.


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriel shook his head as he walked across the bar to where Jo was waving him over. His poor baby bro had always been sensitive and when he had hooked up with that dick so long he thought it would be great for him. And it was, for years. Gabriel had seen Cas come out of his shell that years or bullying and humiliation had created and everything had seemed wonderful.

He still remembered that afternoon when Cas had come stumbling into his bar. His eyes were red from crying and how he could hardly stand up straight. At first Gabriel had thought that Cas had been drunk for some crazy reason, but when he finally coaxed the truth from Cas it was worse.

That was two year ago. Cas had stopped going to work, he had stopped talking to people, and stopped answering his phone. Gabriel had given him a week before he forced his brother to get out of his apartment and face the world. It had been hard at first, but Cas always gave in when you pushed enough. He still refused to really talk to anyone, but occasionally he would find his way to Gabriel’s bar and talk all through the night.

Gabriel looked at his office door, wondering what had happened today. Did it have something to do with that dick, or was it about Dean now. He had honestly thought that Cas should get his mind off that dick and maybe find a new boyfriend and Dean had seemed like a perfect fit. If something had gone sour between Cas and Dean, Gabriel would only blame himself.

“What’s up with your brother?” Jo asked as Gabriel came around the bar. “He looked a bit upset earlier when he was here, but just now he looked even worse.”

“It’s nothing,” Gabriel said with a smile.

Jo pursed her lips and stared at Gabriel for a moment, it was obvious something was up, but she let it go. “So, who was that you had with you earlier? You two sure spent an awful long time in your office.”

“You don’t need to know about that.” Gabriel said, pulling a candy bar out from under the counter. “That is my business, and your business is to work at _my_ bar.”

Jo smiled and reached over to break off part of the candy bar. She popped it in her mouth, “He looked pretty cute from behind. If you don’t claim him maybe I will.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. Jo had been working for him for about a year now and he was glad he hired her. She didn’t take crap from anyone and she was mischievous, willing to do just about anything for a bit of adventure and fun. “Will you now? You do know that I can fire you if I want, right?”

Jo plucked the rest of the candy bar from Gabriel’s hand and laughed, “You would never fire me. You love me too much.”

Gabriel smiled and yanked the candy bar back and took a bite, “Yes, I do love you.”

Jo opened her mouth to say something else, but someone across the bar call for another drink, bringing both of them back to work. Looking around Gabriel saw that his bar as only half full, a typical day for him. Give it another hour or two and this place would be all the way full.

The door opened, letting in a cold rush of wind and a tall dirty blond man. He looked around anxiously before heading to the where Gabriel stood behind the bar.

“What can I get for you tonight, Dean,” Gabriel asked. He liked Dean, he was a nice, open guy, and he was pretty easy on the eyes too. Sure Dean spent most afternoons in his bar and hit on just about everyone, but that didn’t define someone. Gabriel assumed it was just his way of coping with all the crap he’s gone through in his life. Being a regular meant that Gabriel knew a lot about your history, and some people just had a lot more they needed to get off their mind than other—Dean being one of those people.

“No, I don’t want a drink. I was hoping that Cas would be here.”

“Nope,” Gabriel lied, “Did something happen between you two?”

A ghost of a smile flicked across Dean’s face, making Gabriel want to smile too. Cas may have just met Dean the other day, but Dean had known about Cas for a while now. Gabriel remembered when Dean had come into his bar a few weeks ago, face flushed from the weather. It had been a rough day for Dean, but he had confided in Gabriel about this guy he had seen walking out of his apartment building. There wasn’t really anything special about him, but something had taken Dean’s breath away. Gabriel had had no idea that he had been talking about his brother then until Cas came into the bar to test out a drink of Gabriel’s. After Cas left, Dean had shot question after question at Gabriel, trying to pull as much information about Cas as he could. Gabriel hadn’t told him much, just that he lived alone and was an editor. The way Dean stared after Cas and the way he asked about him gave Gabriel the idea that maybe Dean was the type of person his brother needed.

“I’m not really sure what happened.” Dean said, his eyebrows knitting together. “Cas had come over to my place for dinner and things were going great. Then all of a sudden, Cas took off.”

Gabriel pulled a beer out from under the counter and handed it to Dean, “Cas can be sensitive. Just give him a day or two to work things out.”

Dean nodded slowly and took the beer from Gabriel but didn’t drink it. “Has he had relationship problems?”

“You’ll have to talk to him about that.” Gabriel said, “It’s not my place to say.”

Dean nodded again and Gabriel left him to his thoughts. Friday nights were always busy, and this night was no exception. Jo was his only employee and the two of them were just barely able to keep everyone happy and the business running, but it was exhausting. Maybe it was time to hire another person. The night passed by pretty quickly and come 2am Gabriel hung the closed sign up outside and ushered out the few remaining drunks. Jo helped clean up a little before she left, her long blonde hair swaying behind her.

Gabriel opened his office door to find Cas sitting on a box of bills, angrily muttering at Chuck’s manuscript.

“Have you really been working on that the whole time, Cas?” Gabriel asked plopping down on the couch.

Cas looked up, his face lined with frustration. “Chuck always has at least a few plot holes that through things off and he forgets about things that happen earlier, creating more frustration and annoyance.”

Gabriel leaned back and closed his eyes. “I always thought Chuck was a good writer. I’m a fan of his work.”

When Cas didn’t say anything back Gabriel opened his eyes. Cas wasn’t paying Chuck’s work any attention and was instead glaring at the wall. Gabriel threw one of the couch cushions at his brother. “Come sit next to me, Cas, and bring that cushion back.”

Cas grumbled about being hit by stupid cushions, but got up anyways to sit next to his brother. He gave the couch an apprehensive glance before sinking down. Gabriel slung his arm around Cas’s shoulders, “Tell me what’s the matter, baby bro.”

Gabriel watched as his brother squinted his eyes as he collected his thoughts. Cas leaned against him a bit and took a deep breath before opening his mouth, “It was Balthazar. I was at Dean’s and we kissed and all I could think about was Balthazar. I feel like he’s haunting me. Then I left because it hurt to think of him.”

Gabriel had never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month so he had no idea what Cas was going through, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try and help.

“I think it’s time for your apartment to get a makeover.” Gabriel announced. Cas looked at him, confused at his brother’s sudden change of topic.

“I don’t understand. I like my apartment the way it is.” Cas said with a tilt of his head.

“Answer me this, bro. Who lived in your apartment before you?”

“Well, Balthazar lived there until I moved in with him . . .”

“Who decorated that place?”

“Balthazar.” Cas answered, still not understanding.

“Whose furniture is still in that apartment and who does it remind you of every day?”

Comprehension dawned and Cas looked down as he replied, “Balthazar.”

Gabriel squeezed his brother’s shoulders, “Everything about that place reminds you of him because it’s not really yours. Everything in your apartment was originally that dick’s.”

“Do you think I should move out?” Cas asked sadly. Gabriel could see that the idea of moving from that damn apartment brought him down. He silently cursed the dick who had his hands still gripped tight around his baby brother. Then another thought floated through his head. Maybe he sounded sad not because of that dick, but because a certain green eyed guy who lived down the hall.

“Nah, we can just throw out everything inside and start over.” Gabriel said with a yawn. “A fresh start for a fresh life. We should have done this two years ago.”

Gabriel closed his eyes, today had been a busy day. He heard Cas say something, but he couldn’t make out any words. He opened his eyes for just a moment to see that his brother was closing his eyes now too. The two of them fell asleep leaning against each other.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Cas woke up to find him and Gabriel curled around each other like cats on the couch. Cas smiled, they used to sleep like this when they were kids. Their dad would leave for extended periods of time and Cas would crawl into his brother’s bed for comfort.

The sun shined through the closed curtains of the office and Cas wanted nothing more than to curl back up and go to sleep, but Gabriel had begun to stir. Gabriel stretched out, pushing Cas right over the edge of the couch.

“Uuuuhhhhh,” Cas moaned from where he lay on the floor.

“What time is it?” Gabriel asked. He spread out across the entire couch, not caring that he had thrown his brother onto the hard office floor.

Cas searched his pockets for his phone, but came up empty. _Where is that thing?_ Cas opened his eyes and patted at his pockets. _I must have falling in the couch._ Cas thought as he slowly sat up. Gabriel opened one eye, “What time is it?”

“Dunno,” Cas replied, still sleepy, “Lost my phone in the couch.”

Gabriel sat up and rubbed his eyes. He reached into his pants pocket and fished out his own phone. The screen lit up to show that is was almost noon. He stood up and stretched, “Uhhh, I need to get up.”

“Are we going to go furniture shopping?” Cas asked as his older brother stood up, yawning.

“I want to, but the bar opens in two hours.”

Cas leaned against the front of the couch and pursed his lips. “I don’t want to go back to my apartment. Dean’s there and he’s probably mad at me.”

Gabriel plopped down next to Cas, “Dean’s not mad. He was actually here last night. Don’t give me that look, Cas, of course I didn’t tell him that you were here. He was worried about you. I told him that you just needed some time.”

Cas dropped his head into his hands. Was Dean really concerned about him? Cas wanted nothing but to go to Dean and apologize about last night and to just have those strong arms wrap around him. But would those strong arms remind him of other arms that weren’t quite so strong, but had been sturdy and loving?

“Go talk to him.” Gabriel said standing up again.

Cas looked up at his brother. “But, what if—“

“No,” Gabriel said, cutting him off, “Don’t even think about it. If that dick pops up in your mind ignore him and focus on something else.”

 _Yes,_ Cas thought sarcastically, _Because that sounds like such an easy thing to do._ He only nodded and got up as well. “I’ll go talk to Dean, let me just find my phone.”

***

Cas stopped at the coffee shop on his way home, grabbing something to eat. He made his way slowly down the street to his building. As he climbed the stairs he thought about last night when he had been at Dean’s. It had been real nice and Cas hadn’t felt that happy for quite some time. Well, it had been nice until Balthazar had made a surprise visit. Although, it hadn’t really been too much of a surprise to Cas. He had known that he had never really let Balthazar go, and part of that was because he didn’t want to. He was scared. Scared to know what truly being alone was like. There had been nights when Cas would come home expecting Balthazar to be there waiting, and when he wasn’t he would cry himself to sleep.

Cas took a deep breath and tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind. He got to the top of the stairs and marched right past his apartment door, not even glancing at it. When he got to Dean’s door Cas knocked on it before he could back out and run back to his brother.

When Dean opened the door and saw Cas he started talking at top speed, “Cas! I was looking for you last night. I’m so sorry. Are you alright? You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I don’t know what happened at dinner, but whatever I did I’m sorry. I really am. Please forgive me and let me make it up. Come on, Cas”

 _Wow,_ thought Cas, _He looks like he hasn’t slept a wink._ He couldn’t do much else besides stare at Dean as he talked. He wanted to kiss the bags under his eyes that must have been from a sleepless night. He wanted to run his hands through Dean’s messy dirty blonde hair. He wanted to feel those lips move against his, uttering his name instead of these uneeded apologies.

Cas was so focused on Dean that he didn’t notice he had stopped talking.

“Cas? Say something please.” Dean said leaning forward a bit.

Cas met Dean’s eyes and threw his arms around Dean’s neck pulling him down so he could kiss him. Their lips crashed and Cas heard Dean’s breath hitch. Strong hands wrapped around Cas’s shoulder and he leaned into the touch.

 _Yes,_ thought Cas, _Yes, this is what I want. Dean is nothing like Balthazar._ Those strong hands that gripped his shoulder tightly began to push Cas away, and all Cas could think was that he had been wrong.

Dean only pushed him far enough away so that they could look into each other’s eyes. “Are you okay? Are you really okay?”

 _Am I okay?_ “I’m fine, Dean.” _I’d be better if you let me kiss you again._

“First tell me what happened last night.” Dean said, pushing Cas a little farther away. “I want to make sure you really are okay.”

Cas was starting to getting a bit agitated. Why did he want to talk? All Cas wanted was to kiss and keep his mind off of Balthazar. He tried to pull Dean back towards him, but Dean was stronger than him and easily kept Cas at arm’s length.

“Cas, please,” Dean said. His green eyes stared pleadingly at Cas. “I just want to know what happened last night.”

Cas huffed and let his arms slip from around Dean’s neck. He squinted his eyes, thinking about what he wanted to say. What was he supposed to say? _Everything_ , a voice inside his head said. And that’s exactly what he did. Cas let everything out. It was hours later when he had finished talking and at some point they had moved into Dean’s apartment and sat down on his couch. Dean pulled Cas into a rough hug and whispered in his ear. “I don’t like this Balthazar. Let me love you and cherish you like this guy never did. I knew you were amazing when I first saw you, and I still think that, and never will stop.”

Cas was crying, his face buried in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean held him tight running one hand up and down Cas’s back until he cried himself to sleep. Dean carefully picked Cas up and carried him to the bedroom. When he placed him on the bed he had to pry Cas’s fingers from his shirt so that he could take off their shoes. Dean did his best to also pull off Cas’s jacket, but Cas was curled up in a ball and refused to move.

Sighing, Dean left Cas fully dressed and stripped himself down to just boxers and a t-shirt and climbed into bed with Cas.

In the middle of the night Cas woke, confused and hot. He glanced around the dark room, not sure of where he was. On the bed next to him Dean lay lightly snoring. Cas sat up and Dean’s hand followed him from where it had been wrapped around Cas’s arm. Half asleep he pulled his jacket off, followed by his pants and button up shirt and undershirt. When he was completely naked save for some boxers he curled up under the covers, pressing his body next to Dean’s.

Cas woke up again later in the night, sweat clinging to his body. When he shifted to sit up Dean opened his sleepy eyes. He blinked a few times and looked up at Cas, his eyes taking their time traveling over his chest.

“Is something wrong?” Dean mumbled. He reached out a hand and entwined it in Cas’s

“It’s hot in your apartment,” Cas said grumpily. He hated being hot. It had been nice to feel a warm body next to him while he slept, but Cas had grown too warm and sleep was quickly being chased away.

Dean chuckled and tugged at Cas’s hand. “Come lay down and we can throw off the covers and our clothes.”

Cas only pulled his hand away. Dean yawned, “Why don’t you take a cold shower.”

Cas wanted to argue just because he was not in the mood to agree, but a cold shower did actually sound like a good idea. He slowly climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Soon he had cold water running down his head and body.

Back in the room Dean climbed out of the bed and moved to turn the temperature down a bit. It was only five in the morning, but there was no way Dean could go back to sleep now and then convince himself to wake up again in a few hours to go to work. Maybe he’d make breakfast.

By the time Cas got out of the shower the smell of pancakes was wafting throw the air. Dean placed the warm pancakes on the table and looked up to find Cas watching him. When he saw what Cas was wearing his breath hitched as he drank in the sight before him.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Cas said, his blue eyes staring at the ground. “I borrowed some of your clothes, boxers included.”

Cas was wearing one of Dean’s grease stained t-shirts, it was big enough on him to hang just below whatever boxers Cas had snagged. Dean walked over to Cas and put a hand under his chin, making the dark haired man look up. Without missing a beat, Dean captured Cas’s lips with his own.

Cas reached up to wrap his arms around Dean and return the kiss. Dean stepped closer, making Cas step back until his back was against the wall. One of Dean’s hands were buried in wet hair, while the other traveled down to lift Cas’s leg and hook it around his hip. His hand found the waistband of the boxers Cas was wearing and Dean smiled at how loose they felt around Cas’s slightly smaller hips.

“Dean,” Cas moaned as he felt the other man’s hand dip down into his boxers and grab his ass. Cas let his hands wonder down from Dean’s neck to his chest and then to his boxers. Dean shuddered as Cas’s hand’s slipped in and lightly brushed over his cock.

Dean’s legs grew weak as Cas continued to stroke his cock and soon both of them were a tangled mess of limbs on the ground. Cas’s mouth slipped down to kiss the stubble along Dean’s jaw. “Dean . . .” Cas hissed as Dean moved to the front of his boxers to take a hold of his cock.

Dean pulled Cas’s boxers down and started pumping Cas, running his thumb over pre-cum that was already leaking out. Cas forgot about the kisses he had been giving Dean and about his hand around the other man’s penis as Dean took him in his mouth. Cas fell back against the floor and shut his eyes. Dean knew just what to do as he bobbed his head up and down. The whole world and all its problems seemed to melt away leaving nothing for Cas except Dean. Dean and his wonderful mouth. Cas looked down to see Dean with his eyes closed and his cheeks hallowed out.

The overwhelming need to make Dean his took over and Cas jerked up, almost choking the other man. Dean’s eyes grew big at the sudden movement. Cas pulled himself from Dean’s mouth and pushed Dean roughly onto his back. In no time Cas had stripped Dean down and given him two of his fingers to suck.

Dean had no objections and eagerly sucked at the fingers. Once they were heavily coated in saliva Cas pulled them from Dean’s mouth and carefully put one finger into Dean’s entrance. Cas felt a shiver go through the other man. Dean reached down to card his fingers through Cas’s back hair. Cas stretched Dean a bit before putting another finger in him. Dean moaned loudly as he felt a third finger fill him.

Once Dean was ready Cas straddled him and slowly pushed himself into Dean. Dean bit his lip to keep from crying out. Cas gave him a minute to adjust before he began thrusting. He started out slow, but Dean’s face was flushed and his green eyes were blown wide with lust, and soon Cas forgot all about taking it slow. He just wanted Dean to feel him in him. He wanted Dean as his own. He grabbed Dean’s dick and pumped it in time with his own thrusts. Dean’s mouth was hanging open and he moaned and cried out Cas’s name so many times that Cas couldn’t have kept count if he had wanted to.

“Cas!” Dean shouted, saying his name louder than any other time as cum shot from his cock and spilled all over Cas’s hands. Cas quickly followed and Dean shuddered as the warmth of Cas’s cum filled him.

Breathing heavily, Cas slowly pulled himself out of Dean and crawled closer so that they lay face to face on the floor. Dean’s eyes were shut, but they opened when Cas kissed him, long and deep.

“I think you need another shower,” Dean murmured against his lips.

Cas chuckled, “Maybe you can help me this time.”

Dean only snuggled closer to Cas, “The pancakes I made are cold now too.”

“We can eat out for breakfast.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you ever take Cinnamon for walks?” Cas asked as he watched the yapping yorkie whine at the door. She knew that the two of them were headed out and she wanted to go too.

“I never really have time,” Dean replied as he pulled a shirt over his head.

Cas bent down and picked up the fuzzy little dog, “You have a leash? I’ll take her with us. She and I can hang out together and watch you work at your uncle’s repair shop.”

Dean hesitated, “I don’t like dogs in my car.”

“You’ve never taken her anywhere?” Cas asked. Dean only shook his head, “Why _do_ you have a dog, Dean?”

Dean sighed and walked over to scratch Cinnamon between the ears. “She was my mom’s before she died a year ago. My brother couldn’t take care of her and I just couldn’t stand the thought of shipping her off to the pound.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Cas said quietly. He snuggled his face closer to the dog and looked up at Dean, “Can we still take her with us?”

Dean smiled and kissed Cas on the forehead, “Sure, but you are in charge of making sure she doesn’t mess up my car.”

“Deal.” Cas said, a smile lighting up his face.

Dean watched as Cas got the dog ready. He had decided to wear some of Dean’s old clothes. They had managed to find some pants and a shirt that fit him, but they still looked baggy on Cas’s frame.

They stopped at a burrito place on the way to the shop and Cas shared his with the dog. Dean kept glancing over nervously, worried that Cinnamon would upchuck everything she ate all over his dashboard.

Fifteen minutes later Dean parked his car by an old house. On one side of the house stood a junk yard and on the other was a large garage that could easily fit three cars side by side. A man was in the garage hunched over the engine of a car, but he looked up when he heard the purr of Dean’s impala.

“Morning Dean,” he called, the cap on his head read _Bobby’s Repair Shop_.

Cas slowly climbed out of the car with Cinnamon in his arms and followed Dean as he walked over to greet the man. “Hey, Bobby, how you doing?”

“Well, I can’t seem to find what’s wrong with this engine and I’ve been working on it since I woke up.” Bobby pulled a rag from his pockets and tipped his ball cap at Cas, “And who’s this?”

“I’m Cas,” he said, introducing himself.

“Cas is a . . . uh . . .  friend of mine. He’s just gonna hang out here today.” Dean said.

Bobby only grunted in acknowledgement before asking Dean to help him look at the engine. He told Cas that he was welcome to anything in the fridge before turning back to the car.

Cas put Cinnamon on the ground, making sure the leash was secure, and began meandering around. The day passed by a bit slowly and Cas would often be found sitting in the shade by the garage watching Dean as he helped his uncle. By four in the afternoon only one person had come by to have thier car looked at leaving Dean and Bobby to focus on that one car that sat in the garage.

Cas wasn’t sure what they were saying—car talk wasn’t his thing—but he like watching Dean work. The muscles in his arm stood out as he used different tools and moved stuff around and he had a nice butt too that Cas was sure he pointed his way on purpose.

The sun was starting to go down when another car rolled in. Cas watched as they parked by Dean’s car. The passenger seat opened to let out a kid about ten with short black hair and freckles dotting his face. It took Cas a moment before he recognized him as the boy who had been following his mom down the hall from Dean’s apartment the other day. Ben. Lisa climbed out of the driver’s seat and she and Ben walked to where Dean was. Lisa smiled kindly at Cas as they passed.

At the sound of car doors Bobby and Dean had looked up. Dean said something to Bobby when he saw who it was. He wiped off his hands and moved to meet Lisa, glancing at Cas.

“Hey Dean!” Ben called. He ran ahead of Lisa and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist.

Dean hugged him tight, “How you doing, kid?”

“I’m good, Mom said we could stop by before we go.”

“Go?” Dean asked, looking up at Lisa.

“Ben why don’t you let Dean and me talk.”

Ben nodded solemnly and walked back towards the car. He stopped when he saw Cas with Cinnamon sitting by his feet. “That’s Dean’s dog,” he said to Cas.

“Uh, yeah,” _What am I supposed to say to this kid? I’ve never been good with kids._ “Dean let me bring her out of the apartment.”

Ben smiled and bent down to pet the dog, “That’s good. She’s always stuck in his apartment.”

“I’m Ben,” the kid said, holding his hand out.

“Cas,” Cas replied taking Ben’s hand.

“Isn’t that Dean’s shirt?” Ben asked. Cinnamon stretched against his leg and he picked her up.

“Yes, it is. I’m just borrowing it.”

Ben stared at him for a moment and Cas squirmed under his gaze, something about this kid reminded him so much about Dean. “Are you Dean’s boyfriend?”

 _What?_ “What?” How had Ben come to that conclusion?

Ben only shrugged, “Just curious. Mom won’t tell me why she doesn’t want me hanging out with Dean anymore and I was just wondering if it’s because he likes guys along with girls.”

_So Ben knows that Dean’s bi, does Lisa too? Is that really why she’s moving and taking Ben away from Dean?_

“I said no, Dean.” Lisa said loudly. Cas and Ben looked up to see Lisa pulling her arm from Dean’s grasp. She walked away from him and to Ben, “Say good bye to Dean, Ben, we need to go.” Ben opened his mouth to protest but Lisa cut him off and said, “Make it quick, I’ll be waiting in the car.”

Cas watched as Ben told Dean bye and gave him another hug before climbing in to the car. Dean watched the car drive away, he stood there for a while after the car was out of sight. Cas entwined his fingers with Dean’s and squeezed.

“You want to talk about it?” Cas asked quietly.

Dean only shook his head. Bobby came up behind them and place a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I liked that kid. I had hoped he’d come work for me when he got old enough.”

“He’s a smart kid.” agreed Dean.

“At least you have your boyfriend here,” Bobby said, nodding his head towards Cas.

 _Do we look like a couple?_ Cas thought.

At Bobby’s comment Dean pulled his hand from Cas’s and stuttered out an argument. Cas’s eyes fell to the ground, was Dean embarrassed of the idea of the two of them together?

Bobby slapped his greasy rag against Dean’s arm, “You ain’t gotta to hide nothin’ from me, boy. I ain’t your dad. I don’t give a rat’s ass whether you like girls or boys or both. Now come inside so you can clean up for dinner, Jody will be here soon.”

Dean smiled and grabbed Cas’s hand as they followed Bobby inside.

“Who’s Jody?” Cas asked

Dean took a beer from Bobby, “She’s Bobby’s wife and the town sheriff.”

“She’s the town sheriff first.” Bobby muttered before leaving the room.

Cas looked at Dean questioningly and Dean laughed, “Jody’s arrested Bobby a few time in the past.”


	9. Chapter 9

Dean and Cas stayed to have dinner as Dean had done so many times in the past. Both Bobby and Jody openly welcomed Cas to the table and he had a great time. It had been a long time since he had had a family dinner. With no mom and an absent father Cas had always been left to fend for himself while Gabriel went to party after party after party. As he glanced around the table he couldn’t help but smile. _This is what a real family must feel like,_ he thought happily.

Outside the sun went down as everyone ate. When they were all done they remained at the table, talking about anything and everything. They tried to pull Cas into the conversations, but he didn’t have much to say. Instead he sat back and watched Cinnamon yap excitedly around the table as everyone snuck her scraps of table food. He reached down to pet the dog when she came to him and handed her the last of his dinner roll.

A warm hand patted his knee and he looked to his left, worried Dean would be mad at him for feeding Cinnamon despite the fact Cas had seen him feed his dog too. Dean only smiled at him and took his free hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “You okay? You’re kind of quite. You aren’t bored are you?”

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand reassuringly, “I’m great. I’m having a wonderful time, Dean.”

Dean beamed down at him, his green eyes sparkling merrily. He threaded his fingers through Cas’s and turned back to whatever Jody was saying. Cas glanced down at his and Dean’s hand, entwined and resting on his thigh, and thought about how nice it was to have someone to hold onto. Cinnamon jumped into his lap to better get her belly scratched and Cas sat there petting the dog and holding on tightly to Dean.

A warmth spread through his body, making the world a bit brighter. Slowly, from the moment he met Dean, Cas’s world had shifted back into place and it didn’t seem so dark and lonely anymore. He thought about earlier when the two of them were assumed to be boyfriends. Cas watched Dean as he laughed, the skin around his eyes crinkling. He wondered if Dean wanted to be his boyfriend, maybe he’d ask him later tonight.

“Cas,” Jody said, pulling Cas from his thoughts, “How long have you known Dean?”

Cas glanced at Jody and back at Dean who had tensed up a little, “I, uh, I met him four days ago.” _Had it really been only four days?_ Cas thought in disbelief.

“And how did you two meet?” Jody asked, resting her arms on to table.

Her eyes stared straight at him, keeping Cas from looking away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Bobby and Dean exchange a look, “Well, Cinnamon got out and I found her and Dean came running after her.”

Jody nodded, straight-faced, “And, tell me—“

“Jody, dear.” Bobby interrupted, placing his hand gently on her arm. “This ain’t an interrogation.”

Jody stared back at him with big innocent eyes, “I wasn’t interrogating him, I just wanted to get to know him.”

“Can’t you see you’re scaring the boy?”

Dean tapped his finger against the side of Cas’s hand in frustration and Cas looked over. He could see that Dean’s jaw was set and he was staring broodingly at his empty plate. Cas squeezed his hand and patiently waited for Dean to look at him before asking quietly, “What’s wrong?”

Jody and Bobby paid them no mind as their little argument turned into a smiling conversation. Dean leaned back in his chair and let out a deep breath, “Whenever I bring anyone over with me they interrogate them. It’s nothing really, but it bugs me.”

Not knowing what to say, Cas looked down at the dosing dog on his lap. Dean reached over with his free hand and scratched Cinnamon’s belly. “We should probably get going.”

As they left Bobby’s Jody pulled Dean aside to tell him something. Cas waited awkwardly with Bobby until the two were done talking. Bobby clapped both of them on their shoulders and said, “You stay out of trouble. And Cas, you are welcome here anytime.”

“Thank you,” Cas called as Dean shifted the impala into drive. He was sure that he would take Bobby up on that offer. If this evening was what it’s like to be with family then Cas never wanted to let that go. His whole life had been devoid of a whole family and there was no way he was going to go back to that.

As Dean drove he sang to all the songs that came on the radio and Cas watched him. He reached over and took Dean’s hand that was resting on the seat between them. Dean stopped singing and looked at their entwined hands before smiling at him.

“Dean?” Cas asked after several minutes. They were still holding hands and Dean was humming as he stared at the road.

“Yeah?”

Cas licked his lips nervously and turned to gaze at the dash, how what he supposed to ask this? He felt like it was such an awkward question, but maybe if he just came out and asked it. When Cas turned back to Dean, Dean’s piercing green eyes were staring straight at him. “Areyoumyboyfriend?” Cas asked in one breath.

Dean stared at him, ax look of confusion written on his face, “What?”

Cas took a deep breath and slowly looked up at Dean, “A-are you my boyfriend?”

Dean squeezed Cas’s hand and leaned over to kiss Cas on the cheek. “Only if you want me to be.”

Cas smiled at him and nodded, “I do.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is kind of short, i've been busy with work and school. but im trying to post at least once a week

_"You look amazing, darling." Cas let his eyes wonder from the setting sun to the man sitting next to him. In the orange glow of the sunset his hair had turned golden and light surrounded him completely. Cas blushed and dropped his eyes to his lap. A hand reached out and tilted Cas's head up so that he was staring into a pair of light blue eyes. "You are so magnificent, Castiel. I love you. "_

_Cas smiled and leaned into the warmth of the other body. As he closed his eyes a pair of loving lips kissed his temple and Balthazar wrapped his arm securely around him._

Cas woke with a shiver. He groped through his sheets, looking for the warm body from his dream. When he didn't find it he slowly cracked his eyes open and gazed sadly at the second pillow on his bed. He smirked and threw the covers off him. "You love me? Hard to believe that. "

As the covers puddled around his feet Gabriel's words from the other day came to him. _Everything in your apartment was originally that dick's._ Balthazar had picked out the cover that now laid at his feet. Without a second thought Cas scooped the cover up, ripped the rest of the sheets off the bed and pulled the pillowcases off (all things Balthazar had bought) and carried them to his window. He flung the window open and threw everything out. His heart started to race when someone down on the street shouted, it had felt so good. It had felt like Cas could breathe a little more freely once the sheets had tumbled out the window. He marched to the bedside table and grabbed the lamp, another commodity bought by Balthazar, and threw it out to. Cas leaned his head out and watched the lamp shatter as it hit the sidewalk.

Cas turned his attention back to his room, wanting to throw out more stuff. He didn't know where to start, so much stuff was not his. He started at the book shelf, throwing books across the room and out through the open window. Ignoring the yelling and the car horns from outside he moved to his dresser and tossed out all the clothes that weren't his. Next came the bedside table. It didn't fit through the window so Cas simple threw it at the floor making it shatter before throwing it out piece by piece.

Just as he had thrown the closet door open there was a knock on the front door. Slightly dazed, Cas looked around him. The room was in shambles. There were pieces of the bedside table scattered across the floor along with clothes that had spilled from his dresser and his books were carelessly strewn about the room. There was another knock at the door and Cas hurried to try and pick up his books. _What is the matter with me?_ He asked himself, _What the hell was I thinking?_

Cas opened his apartment door, his arm full of books from his room. Crowley, the owner of the apartment building, stood outside, his face red with anger. "What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?! People came into _my_ building telling me that it’s raining furniture outside! Who throws furniture out a bloody window?" Cas stared at his feet, not sure what to say back. He didn't have an excuse. "I already have my people cleaning up your stuff, so don't bother with trying to help, just don't throw anything else out the window. If you want to get rid of something use a bloody trashcan!"

Crowley stormed off and Cas set his books down on the kitchen table with a sigh. The table had been here before he had moved in, so had that couch and that shelf. Cas looked around the apartment sadly trying to find something that was his besides book and dishes. Actually, Balthazar had bought all the dishes in the kitchen.

Cas ran his hand through his hair, “Gabriel was right. Everything here was his.”

He meandered around the apartment for a bit, looking at everything and taking in stock what was his and what was not. As he looked around thoughts of Balthazar kept racing through his mind. The lamp in the living room brought with it the memory of the time they had gone to an antique shop and Cas had almost broken a fifty year old cabinet. The shower curtain in the bathroom made Cas remember that time had had an awful day at work and he came home to find that Balthazar had redone the entire bathroom.

To push these unwanted thoughts from his mind Cas thought about Dean. Last night after they had left Dean had tried to convince Cas to stay the night with him, but to be honest the thought of staying the night at Dean’s scared him. He felt like they were moving a little too fast, but at the same time Cas felt like they weren’t moving fast enough.

In the end Dean let Cas refuse to stay at his place under one condition. Cas had to go on an actual date with him. Cas smiled. He was excited for his date with Dean. About an hour after Dean had walked him to his apartment Cas had gotten a text from him saying that he had made a reservation for the two of them for the next night. Tonight. Their date was tonight.

Cas wandered to his tornado swept room and surveyed it in despair. Slowly he began to gather all the clothes that had been strewn about and he placed the drawers back in the dresser. Once the remains of his shattered bedside table was cleaned up he sat down at the end of his bare bed and stared at his open closet. A blue v-neck could be seen on top of boxes that hadn’t been moved in years. With a determined huff, Cas strode to the closet and began removing everything that was not his.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean woke to a rough tongue on his face. Cinnamon whined as she tried desperately to wake her owner. Dean shoved her away, but she only crawled back to his face. After several minutes of wrestling his covers back from his dog, Dean climbed out of bed and put Cinnamon in the hall before closing the door. The second he crawled back under his covers there was scratching at his door. Dean tried to ignore it and he would have fallen asleep until Cinnamon started to howl.

Dean moaned and got out of bed. He grumpily followed his yapping dog to the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. While the coffee brewed, Dean fed Cinnamon and started on breakfast. As he ate and sipped at his coffee he thought of yesterday slipped into his mind.

To be honest Dean hadn’t really believed that Lisa would actually move away and take Ben with her. Sure Dean hadn’t been Ben’s legal parent and he had no idea if Ben was actually his, but Dean had really started to feel like a father figure to the kid. Almost every weekend Ben would stay with Dean and they would hang out or go out and do stuff, and during the week whenever Ben had free time he could be found at Bobby’s shop with Dean teaching him about cars.

Dean patted Cinnamon on the head and wondered why Lisa decided to move away in the first place. No matter how much he had pressed it, Lisa wouldn’t let on to why the sudden move. Dean sighed and got up to put his plate in the sink. To keep himself from getting to depressed he shifted his thoughts to Cas. He was really excited for their date tonight. He had found a great little restaurant that wasn’t too expensive, but still classy. Dean just hoped that Cas would like the place.

Cinnamon followed Dean through the apartment as he got dressed for work, yapping the entire time. When he opened the front door, she tried to follow him, but Dean pushed her back into the apartment and locked the door behind him. He was glad that at work no one came in because Dean was too ecstatic for his date with Cas that he could barely focus on any of the tasks Bobby gave him. All through the day his mind raced through ever possible thing that could go wrong on his date and every possible thing that could go right. He mentally went through all his clothes, trying to find the best outfits.

“Dean! Think fast!”

Dean glanced behind him just in time to watch a beer bottle smash at his feet. Bobby looked over at the sound of shattering glass and turned to glare at the person who had thrown it. “We’re working here, boy.” he chastised.

Sam smiled apologetically with a shrug, “Sorry, Bobby, I thought Dean was going to catch it. I’ll go get something to clean that up.”

“When’d Sammy get here?” Dean asked as Sam headed back in to the house.

Bobby chuckled, “He’s been here most of the day. He’s helping Jody with a case. Where’s your head at, boy? You’ve been distracted all day.”

Dean wiped his hands on his grease rag and smiled, “I decided to take your advice and I asked Cas out for dinner.”

“Good for you.” Bobby said, clapping Dean on the shoulder, “When’s the date?”

“Tonight actually. I made a reservation at this little place I—hey! Why the hell are you hitting me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a date tonight?” Bobby complained, “I would have given you the day off.”

Dean took a step back, not wanting to get hit again, “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“You stress over dates, Dean. I know, I’ve seen you. They make you nervous and they freak you out” Bobby adjusted his hat, “I’m done with you for the day. Go home and get ready for your date.”

“It’s barely three, Bobby, I can’t leave now.” Dean said turning his attention back to the car he was working on.

“If I don’t make you leave now you are just going to find an excuse to put off going on this date.” said Bobby. When Dean didn’t answer Bobby wiped his hands and headed towards the house. Dean tinkered around with the engine of the car until someone tapped on his shoulder.

“Dean, Bobby wants me to take you home.” Sam said.

Dean rolled his eyes, “The old man worries too damn much. I can drive myself home.”

Sam crossed his arms and shot his brother a bitch face, “Really? What time is your date?”

“7:30, why?” Dean answered.

“What time does your shift end?”

“Six.” Dean said, folding his arms to match his brother.

“And what time are you really planning to leave here, Dean?”

“I dunno, six?”

“Why did you answer in a question?”

“Cuz maybe I’m gonna leave a little later.” Dean said, licking his lips nervously. Sam stared at him with intense hazel eyes. Dean shifted from foot to the other and dropped his brother’s eyes, “Okay fine! Maybe I was thinking of cancelling, you happy?”

Sam smirked and grabbed his brother’s arm. He dragged Dean to the impala and pushed him into the passenger seat. As he slid into the driver’s seat Dean complained about how he could take care of himself and how he didn’t like Sam driving his baby, but Sam just ignored him. He knew that if he let Dean drive them back to his apartment they wouldn’t get there until tomorrow morning.

“Come on, Sammy, I’ve been on dates before, I know how to get ready.” Dean said as Sam followed him into his apartment.

“Sure, I know,” Sam said completely ignoring his brother. He snooped around the kitchen for some food and picked up Cinnamon before settling on the couch. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t back out of your date. Jody was telling me how you really seemed to like this Cas guy.”

Sam watched his big brother meander around the apartment slowly getting dressed. Dean came over to him multiple times to declared that he was going to call Cas and cancel the date, but Sam convinced him not to. Come seven-thirty, Dean was dressed and pacing around the living room.

Sam gently pushed the napping dog off his lap and stepped in front of his brother. “You’re out of time, Dean. Time for your date.”

Dean looked up at Sam, his green eyes anxious, “What of something goes wrong? I don’t think it’s too late to cancel.”

Sam snatched Dean’s phone from his hand. “You can have this back when you knock on Cas’s door.”

Dean complained but nodded. Sam followed him out the door and down the hall. When they got to Cas’s door Dean held out his hand and Sam gave him back his phone. “You’ll have a good date, Dean.” he said before heading down the stairs.

Dean smiled, he was glad his brother had made sure he went through with his date. Three deep breaths later Dean knocked on Cas’s door and waited. Just as He heard the door unlock Dean thought about how he should have bought some flowers. He wondered what kind of flowers Cas liked. Maybe something blue to match his eyes.

“Dean?” Cas asked when he opened the door. His hair was rumpled and he was only wearing some boxers. Cas glanced behind him into his apartment for the time before turning back to Dean with huge eyes. “I am so sorry, Dean. I had no idea what time it was. Oh God, come in. Let me just get dressed real quick.”

Cas left the door open for Dean before running across his apartment and to his room. Dean slowly stepped inside, looking all around him. The whole apartment looked like someone had just moved in with most of the furniture pushed against a wall along with a bunch of other stuff. Cas stuck his head out of his room, “Do I have enough time to take a shower?”

“Cas, what happened here?” Dean asked. “Are you planning on moving or something?”

Cas’s gaze dropped to his feet. “That stuff’s not mine.”

Dean looked at him puzzled, “Not yours?”

“It was,” Cas gulped and looked up at Dean, “It was . . .”

 _He doesn’t want to say his name,_ Dean thought, _All this stuff was Balthazar’s._ Dean looked at the pile of stuff, “He sure had a bunch of stuff. Where you moving all of this today?” Cas nodded. Dean could see that he was pretty tired from all the moving, “You know what, Cas? I don’t really feel like going out tonight. You wanna go back to my place and order pizza and watch a bunch of movies?”

Cas smiled and nodded, “We can have our date another night.”

“Yeah,” agreed Dean. For some reason Dean knew that the next time he planned a date with Cas he wasn’t going to need Sam to make sure he saw it through.


	12. Chapter 12

The next few days were utter chaos for Dean. Cas was set on clearing out his entire apartment of everything Balthazar had left behind. Dean remembered Cas telling him that he had had his own place before moving in with Balthazar and he wondered if Cas had lived out of a box from all the stuff they were throwing out.

Gabriel had offered to let Cas store all the extra furniture and stuff in the back of the bar until they figured out what to do with it. Cas had been set on throwing everything out, but his brother had refused, saying that there was some great stuff in there still in good condition. It took them two days to get everything out of the apartment, leaving only an old TV they found at the back of a closet, a stack of books, two lamps, a laptop, and a love seat.

Gabriel took a long look around his brother’s empty apartment before turning to Dean, “I still think Cas should have at least kept the bed until he got another.”

“Same here, but he wanted absolutely nothing to do with that guy.” Dean and Gabriel stood there silently as Cas walked Jo, who had offered to help, out. After a few minutes Dean looked at Gabriel who was flipping through one of Cas’s books, “Hey, Gabe.”

“Yeah?”

“What was Balthazar like? Was he really that much of a dick like you say?”

Gabriel looked up from the book and sighed, “Truthfully, I only call him a dick because of how much he hurt Cas. I liked Balthazar he was a really great guy. He was sweet and caring and he looked after Cas. When he left he came to me after and said that there was no explanation that he could give to why he was leaving, but he said he had taken his name off the apartment and left Cas all his stuff and even a bank account with money.”

“Really?”

Gabriel nodded. “I haven’t told Cas about any of that though. He even still thinks that the apartment is under Balthazar’s name.”

Dean looked at him in amazement, “How on Earth does Cas not know about any of that?”

“Well Balthazar left me in charge of the account and told me to give it to Cas with whatever explanation I wanted. As for the apartment, I have no idea how Balthazar’s name not being on the lease evaded his notice.” Gabriel explained.

“How much is in the account?”

“Almost enough to pay for the apartment for five years and then some.” Gabriel said. Dean stared at him. That was quite a bit of money and Gabriel had been holding onto it for two years. “I want Cas to use the money on the furniture he’s planning on getting, but I can’t figure out a way to give it to him. He’d never accept it if he knew the money was from Balthazar.”

Just then the front door opened and Cas walked in. Dean slapped Gabriel on the shoulder, “I got you covered.” he said before walking over to Cas. “Cas, great news. Gabriel was just telling be about how he was gambling over the weekend and—“

Cas turned to glare at his brother. “I told you to stop gambling.” Cas said, interrupting Dean. Gambling was a touchy subject for Cas, Dean knew. Gabriel and Cas’s father had gambled and lost quite a bit of money that way, making life for them harder.

Gabriel shot Dean a dirty look until realization of what Dean had set up came to him. He gave Cas a small smile, “Don’t worry, baby bro, I didn’t lose anything. In fact I won a crap load of money and I have generously decided to give all the money to the furnish Cas’s place foundation.”

Cas squinted his eyes at his brother. He wasn’t quite sure if Gabriel was pulling his leg or not. The two brothers stared at each other for a few seconds before Cas broke the silence. “You really are going to give the money to me?”

 Gabriel smiled, glad Cas had believed the tale. “You betcha. However much you need for all the furniture, I got you covered.”

Cas grabbed his brother and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you so much, Gabriel, you’re always looking out for me.” When he pulled away he stared at him and said, “I really do appreciate it, but seriously you need to stop gambling.”

Gabriel only laughed at him, Cas was practically bouncing on his feet. “Can we go look at furniture now?”

“Sure,” Gabriel said and that was all Cas needed to hear before he bee-lined for the door and headed to Gabriel’s truck downstairs. Gabriel and Dean followed him down at a much slower pace. “Cas told me about you and Lisa.”

Dean looked over sharply. He hadn’t made mention of Lisa to anyone since the day she left with Ben. It was too hard for him to think about. He hadn’t realized how much Ben had meant to him until he was pulled away so suddenly. “What of it?” he asked defensively.

Gabriel stopped walking and put a hand on Dean’s arm, “Do you truly think that Ben is yours?”

Dean stared at him for a moment, thinking. Did he really think that Ben was his? Sure the kid had a lot of the same qualities as him and the timing fit, but for all Dean knew, Ben could be anyone’s kid. Dean nodded and Gabriel pulled a card out of his back pocket. “If you want Ben back in your life you should have a DNA test done then you could fight for your right to be able to be with Ben.”

Dean took the card from Gabriel and checked it out. Gabriel tapped on the name, “Daniel’s a good lawyer and really knows his way around. Plus he’s my current boy toy so I can talk him into not charging you so much.”

“What’s taking you guys so long?” Cas asked, appearing at the bottom of the staircase. He darted up the stairs and grabbed Dean’s hand, “Quite hogging my boyfriend, Gabriel. I need him to help me pick out a bed.”

Dean’s heart stuttered at Cas’s words. This was the first time he had called him his boyfriend since they had talked about being boyfriends. Just the way Cas said it sent Dean’s heart pounding.


	13. Chapter 13

“Dammit, Cas, we can fix this.”

“Dean, it’s not broken.”

“That thing is completely turned the wrong way!”

“Your instructions are completely turned the wrong way!”

Dean gritted his teeth and stared at Cas. This was the person he had fallen for. A person who refused to use the instructions that came with furniture. He let the instructions fall to the ground and got to his feet. “I’ll just leave you to put this together then.”

Dean went to the kitchen and made himself some coffee. He was so tired. Cas had dragged him and Gabriel to some furniture store and bought a bed and a mattress. He had wanted to stay longer and get more furniture, but it was already late and the store was going to close soon. Back at the apartment Gabriel and Dean had wrestled the bed upstairs and into Cas’s place. As soon as it was inside Gabriel left, leaving Dean to take care of the rest. By then Dean was tired and wanted to get some sleep, but Cas was wound up and wanted to put the bed together. Dean had tried to help him, he really had, but his patience could only stretch so far when Cas refused to even look at the instructions.

He turned from the counter to sit at the table only to remember that they had removed that from the apartment. Dean sighed and leaned against the counter. From the bedroom he could hear Cas cursing and the sound of wood being pushed against each other.

“Hey, Cas!” he called when the noise died down, “We should call it a night. I have work in the morning and I know that you’ve got some editor stuff to do. Come stay at my place and we can put the bed together tomorrow.”

When Cas didn’t answer Dean put his coffee down and headed back to the bedroom. He paused in the doorway and Cas smirked up at him. “Who needs instructions?”

The bed that had been in pieces not too long ago was completely put together and Cas had even had time to place the mattress on it, sheets and all. Dean laughed and sat down on the edge, “I guess you don’t.” Cas got up from the floor and stood in front of Dean. “How’d you put it together so fast?”

Cas shrugged as he rested his hands on Dean’s thighs. Dean’s body reacted as he leaned closer to Cas’s face. Cas kissed him gently, “I don’t need instructions to tell me that every piece has a place to go.”

Cas crawled onto Dean’s lap and the two of them fell back in a heated kiss. As Cas took control and yanked at their clothes Dean smiled. When they had first met he had thought Cas a quiet person who never really took charge and just let things happen, but now that Cas had opened up to him he knew that Cas was just about anything but submissive when he was comfortable.

“This is a new bed,” Cas murmured against his lips, “You know what that means?”

Dean shook his head and stared deep into Cas’s blue blue eyes. Cas kissed him, “That means it need to be broken in.”

Dean watched in awe as Cas stripped the both of them with hidden confidence. This was all still so new, sometimes Dean would find himself looking at Cas and wondering what it was about Cas that made him fall in love.

Maybe it was the way he smiled shyly, with a blush coloring his cheeks as their eyes met. Maybe it was the way that Cas, who hardly let anyone in, had opened up to Dean. Maybe it was the way he continued to surprise Dean with the fact that he was alive despite his lack of food in the kitchen and the lack of things he owned.

Cas straddled Dean, both as naked as the day they came into this world. Or maybe it was just the way Cas looked at him, all squinty eyes with his eyebrows knitted together as if Dean were some puzzle he was trying to solve.

“Cas,” Dean whispered through the silence. “I love you.”

Cas sat back on Dean’s legs and stared down at him. His face was unreadable in the dim light, but Dean could feel that something was wrong. He had come to find out that the long silences from Cas were because he was analyzing the situation, trying desperately to keep it from reminding him of Balthazar.

Dean sat up and reached for Cas, “Hey, Cas, I’m sorry. Did I say that too soon? Do you want me to take it back?”

Cas gently pulled his hands from Dean’s and placed them on Dean’s chest. He stared down at his hands on top of the heaving chest and slowly let his eyes wander to Dean’s own green ones. Cas’s face was still expressionless as he placed a quiet kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean sat very still, unsure of if he should do anything.

“Say it again, Dean.” Cas said, their noses brushing against each other.

Dean breathed in Cas’s air and kissed him, “I love you.” he said against Cas’s lips.

Cas stared at him, fear in his eyes, and Dean kissed him again, understanding what was going through the other man’s mind. Cas was scared this wasn’t real. He was scared that this was a dream and that it would all be gone when he opened his eyes.

Dean rested his hands on Cas’s hips and dug his thumbs in until Cas gasped. Dean swallowed the gasp and leaned forward to kiss Cas’s ear. “I love you, Cas. I love you. I love you.”

“Dean.” Cas’s voice cracked and Dean pulled back to see that there were tears in Cas’s eyes.

Dean quickly loosened his hands, “Did that hurt too much? I’m sorry, Cas, I love.”

Cas smiled through his tears and shook his head. “Dean, hold me tighter.”

“I’ll hold you tight and never let go.” Dean murmured as he placed his hands back on Cas’s hips. He laid back, pulling Cas with him and turned them over so that he was now looming over Cas.

“I love you,” Dean said as he kissed his way from Cas’s mouth to his hips. He frowned at the round bruises that were already forming under his thumbs. Dean gave each spot a gentle kiss, murmuring, “I love you,” against both before turning his attention to Cas’s erect cock.

A shiver ran through Cas’s body as Dean took his time wrapping his mouth around him.

“Dean,” Cas said as Dean started bobbing his head, “Dean wait.”

Dean pulled off of Cas and looked up at his boyfriend, worried that he had done something wrong.

Cas smiled at him, tears still in his eyes and his cheeks flushed, he reached down and Dean crawled up so that Cas could wrap his arms around him. Dean hugged him back, letting Cas bury his nose in the crook of his neck. “Dean,” Cas whispered against his skin, “I love you too.”

Dean could feel Cas’s breath quickening and Dean hugged him tighter, kissing all the skin that was close enough. “I’ll never let go, Cas.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Are you sure, Dean?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t been on a date since Balthazar, I think it’s be good to ease him back in.”

“I agree completely, but are you sure you want to ease him in like this? I don’t think it’ll go well.”

Dean shifted his phone to his other ear and held it up with his shoulder so he could better maneuver around the inside of his car. “You don’t think he’ll like it?”

“Dean,” Gabriel let out a heavy sigh, “Cas loved his dates with Balthazar. I remember him talking about them for days. But you aren’t Balthazar. Don’t try and replace him. I never want to see my brother go through that again.”

“I don’t _ever_ plan to leave Cas.” Dean practically growled.

“Balthazar never planned on leaving either.”

“I promise you that I am nothing like that dick.”

There was a long pause as Dean gripped tightly to the wrench in his hand before Gabe said quietly, “For Cas’s sake I sure hope that’s true.”

Gabriel hung up and Dean shoved his phone into his back pocket, turning to furiously work on his baby. There was no way in hell that he was going to be anything like Balthazar. He couldn’t see how anyone could have loved someone as furiously as Balthazar seemed to have and then just bail with no explanation what so ever. It had been almost a month since the first time Dean and Cas had tried to go on a date. After that both of them were always so busy that they just couldn’t find time to go on a date, and now Dean wanted to surprise Cas with a stellar date. Dean grunted to himself as he wiped his hands on a rag, admiring his handy work. He reached for his beer only to find that it was already empty.

“Bobby!” Dean shouted. He stepped out of the garage and into the sunlight, shielding his eyes. “I need another beer!”

Bobby stepped out of his house, two beers in one hand and Sam right behind him. “How’s your car lookin’?”

“It was just a belt that had come loose.” Dean said, gladly taking the beer. His phone started going off and he turned to answer it. “Heya, Cas, what’s up?”

“Hello, Dean.” Cas said. “I was just thinking about you and wanted to hear your voice.”

Something warm flutter around inside Dean. Cas called him all the time, telling him little things like how he wanted to hear his voice, or how he had been wondering what Dean’s favorite color was, or even calling to just say that he really liked his freckles.

“I had just been thinking about you too.” Dean said, taking a swig of his beer to try and drown his butterflies. “Haven’t seen you since yesterday, you’ve been so busy with that book.”

“Yeah, this writer’s work is tedious.” Cas said with a sigh. “Are you coming over tonight? I could really use a break from this thing.”

“Sure.” Dean smiled.

“I was thinking that maybe we’d go for a movie or get something to eat. Nothing big, I mean we just never went on that date and I thought it was probably a good time as any now.”

“You want to go on a date?” Dean asked. It had never occurred to him that Cas might be thinking along the same lines as him.

“U-unless,” Cas stammered, “You don’t want to. It’s no big deal if you don’t want to go on a date, I’d understand. We can just keep doing things the way we have been.”

“No!” Dean practically shouted through the phone. He could almost hear Cas’s heart dropping at the thought of him not wanting to go on a date with Cas. “Let’s go out tonight.”

“Really?” Cas excitedly. “Great! I’ll see you later then.”

Those damn butterflies that Dean thought he had drowned began flapping around inside him again. He loved making Cas sound so happy. “Hey, Sammy!” Dean called.

Sam looked across the yard at his brother, Bobby next to him. Both had been hunched over some big book. Dean made his way to them, “You know of any fancy restaurants that don’t need reservations? Cas wants to go on a date tonight and I want it to be nice.”

“A nice place without a reservation, Dean? That’s impossible. Why don’t you just take Cas to a movie or something like that? Or how about that new go-kart place?”

“It has to be somewhere nice.” Dean said, “This is our first date and I want Cas to like it.”

“Well why don’t you take mine and Bobby’s reservations to the new Italian restaurant.” Jody suggested from behind Dean.

“We’ve had those reservations for a month, dear.” Bobby said.

Jody walked over to him and ran a hand down his cheek. “I know you only got those reservations because I had mentioned wanting to try it out, but you also know that we would both be much happier going to some barbeque place down the road.”

“That is true,” Bobby agreed, smiling at his wife. “The reservations are yours, boy. They’re under my name.”

Dean grinned stupidly at them. “Thanks so much. You don’t mind if I take off early so I can run to the store?”

“Go ahead, we ain’t busy here.”

“Do you need me to make sure you see this thing through?” Sam asked.

Dem smiled at his brother. How did he ever end up with such an awesome and supportive family? “I think I’ll be fine.”

Sam watched as his big brother practically skipped to his car. “I still haven’t met this Cas person, but anyone who can make Dean this happy has to be a good guy.”

“Cas is good.” Bobby said. He and Sam waved as Dean drove off, “And God knows Dean could use all the good people he can find.”

“I like Cas.” Jody said. She kissed Bobby’s cheek before gathering the empty beer bottles and heading back inside.

Sam and Bobby sipped at their beer for a while, just staring out at the junkyard. Bobby cleared his throat. “Your dad called.”

Sam looked at him sharply, anger flaring behind his eyes, “What did he want?”

“Just wondering how his boys are doing, is all.” Bobby said, ignoring Sam’s obvious anger.

“We aren’t his.” San responded heatedly, “He gave up that right when he dumped us at your doorstep and took off.”

“He came and visited every now and then.”

Sam let out a harsh laugh, “Coming twice a year for a day or two doesn’t count. Dean may not have ever fully understood or wanted to understand that he never really wanted us, but I did.”

“He’s still your father, Sam.” Bobby said.

“Only biologically.” Sam replied, refusing to cut his father any slack.

Bobby took the beer that Sam had begun to chug, “Well, he’s coming next week and you are going to be sober for the entire visit.”

Sam crossed his arms and glared at the junkyard, “You do know that we are nothing to him, right, Bobby? Ever since you told him that you wouldn’t let him raise Dean and me as hunters he wanted nothing to do with us—“

“What do you know about hunters, boy?” Bobby asked furiously.

“Not much,” Sam said, startled by Bobby’s sharp tone,  Jjust that there are supernatural things in the world and Dad hunts them and you used to. That’s why you have all those strange symbol things around the house too.”

Bobby adjusted his hat and let out a long sigh. “Have you told Dean any of this?”

“No.” Sam said. “If I told him he would have taken off to help Dad.”

“Do you want to take off and become a hunter?”

Sam looked at Bobby, the thought of himself becoming a hunter had never even crossed his mind, “No. From what I heard it’s a bad life full of pain and loss. I don’t want that.”

Bobby nodded, “It’s a bad life.” he echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter's going to be the date!!


	15. Chapter 15

“What do you mean you don’t have any blue flowers?” Dean demanded.

The poor girl behind the counter coward at his deep voice, “I-I’m sorry, s-sir. We just don’t have any blue flowers except the accent ones that are in the bouquets.” Dean cursed under his breath. He had really wanted to get blue flowers to match Cas's eyes. "Alright, well," Dean scratched the back of his neck and glanced around the store, "Red roses are romantic, yeah?"

The girl behind the counter nodded, "W-we have roses with baby's breath and some by themselves. We sell them in singles and half dozens and dozens."

"Okay I'll take the roses." Dean said with a sigh. "How many do you think would be good for a first date?"

Realizing that Dean wasn't going to shout and yell due to the lack of blue flowers, the girl grew more confident. "First dates are big," she said, coming out from behind the counter to show Dean the roses they had. "Personally I think a single rose would be romantic, but if you want a bit of a grander gesture I'd say go for the half dozen with the baby's breath."

Dean thought about it for a second before choosing the half dozen. The girl smiled at him when he paid and as he walked out the door she called, "I'm sure she'll love the roses! Call next time and we'll order you some blue flowers." Dean as too excited to give Cas the roses that he didn't even bother to correct the girl. 

At his apartment Dean searched in vain for a flower vase, but came up with nothing. He decided to just put them in his biggest pitcher before going to his room to get changed. When he was finally dressed in some old slacks and a button up shirt Dean headed out the door with Cas's flowers.

Cas was quite surprised when he opened the door to find Dean dressed nicely with a bouquet of flowers. He graciously accepted the flowers and let his boyfriend in, "Dean, these are really nice."

Dean kissed Cas, "I wanted something blue, but you'll just have to settle with red."

"I love them, Dean, they're from you." Cas said with a smile, "Why are you all dressed up? I thought we were just going to dinner and then a movie."

"Change of plans. I have reservations at this really nice new Italian place and thought I'd take you, what do you say?"

Dean watched Cas's face closely, Gabriel's warning racing around his head. Confusion seemed to flit across Cas's face, along with something else, but right when Dean thought maybe he should offer something else to do Cas smiled, "I'd love to go, Dean."

Dean captured Cas's mouth with his own and caressed it gently. He took the flowers from Cas, "Go get dressed, I'll find somewhere to put these."

Dean rummaged around Cas's cabinets until he found an old cracked vase. He tried to find one that wasn't cracked, but when he came up empty handed he filled the cracked vase with water and placed the flowers in it.

"I noticed you didn't have a tie so I brought you one. It's red because I think that color looks best on you and I pulled out my blue tie since you couldn't find blue flow—" Cas stopped midsentence as he walked into the kitchen. His eyes stared past Dean at the vase that sat on the counter.

Dean looked at the vase and then back at Cas before realization set in, "I'm sorry, I didn't think it’d remind you of him. Let me find something else."

A warm hand on his arm stopped him from pulling the flowers out, "No," Cas said quietly, "It's alright."

Dean watched Cas carefully as he tied the red tie he had pulled from his closet around Dean's neck. Dean could tell from Cas's expression that having that vase out was not alright. He wanted to take the vase and shatter it into a million pieces, but he didn't. As Cas tied his own tie quietly Dean saw him sneaking glances at the vase. He wished desperately that he could make everything better for Cas right now, but he knew that only time and his own patience would help Cas heal the gaping hole that Balthazar had left.

The first few minutes of the car ride were painfully silent and Dean started rambling about anything and everything just to try and get Cas to talk. Cas talked a little, but mostly he just smiled quietly at Dean and listened to him talk. As he parked the car and led Cas up to the restaurant Dean wondered if maybe Gabe was right and taking Cas out like Balthazar had had been a bad idea.

As they waited for their meal to get to their table Dean watched Cas. He looked happy enough to be out on this date. But Cas was also pretty good about hiding his feelings.

"Hey, Cas," Dean waited until Cas looked up from his wine glass, "Do you like this restaurant?"

Cas smiled, "I haven't even tasted the food yet." he glanced around, "The layout's nice and the people are friendly. And I get to share this meal with you."

Cas reached across the table and entwined his and Dean's fingers. When their food got there Cas started talking a bit more. He talked about the book he was editing and he talked about all the different places he wanted to visit. Dean watched him, glad he liked the date.

After dinner Dean took Cas to the park for a stroll. Dean had never really been one for fancy dinners and romantic strolls through parks, but Cas seemed to like it so he put up with it. When the walked past the lake Cas's eyes lit up at all the turtles that sat at the edge.

Fifteen minutes into their walk and Dean was ready to go home. This whole walking through the park thing was ridiculous and Dean didn't like it, but he stuck with it because Cas seemed happy. As they walked the sound of shouting became noticeable. Curious, the two men walked towards the noise and found a fence surrounding a go-kart track.

Dean's eyes lit up. He hadn't been go-karting since he and Sammy were little. Cas squeezed his hand to get his attention. "Did you want to check it out, Dean?"

Dean nodded before he realized that going go-karting would probably ruin the date for Cas, "I mean, only if you want to."

Dean turned to find that Cas's eyes were bright like his, "I've always wanted to go go-karting."

That was all Dean need to hear before he pulled his boyfriend along the fence to the front of the place. It wasn't long before the two of them were strapped into separate karts and on the track.

"You ready to race?"

"What, are you afraid that you'll lose?"

"Not in a million years! I'll beat your ass at this race, Cas!"

Cas tossed his head back and laughed, "I'd like to see you try!"

They took off and barreled down the track. Everything came back to Dean the second he hit the gas pedal and it was just like when he was younger, only now Cas was with him. Cas on the other hand had a rocky start. He swerved a bit before getting the feel of the go-kart, but once he was used to the controls he was right on Dean's tail.

"You'll never pass me!" Dean shouted. He had forgotten how awesome go-karting was. And for some reason it was made even more awesome by the fact that Cas was with him. He glanced behind him to find that Cas was closer than he had thought. When he turned back around he had to swerve left to avoid a wall. That gave Cas the chance to zip past Dean and take the lead.

The two raced around the track until the sun started going down. When they finally decided to head back home neither could stop smiling. Cas’s hair was a wild mess and his cheeks were flushed a deep red. Dean stared in awe at how beautiful and happy Cas looked like.

They stumbled up the stairs of their apartment complex and Cas led the way down the hall to Dean’s place. Inside Cas scooped up the excited yorkie and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Dean followed him to the couch and they collapsed against each other.

Dean slung an arm around Cas’s shoulder and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “You enjoyed the date?”

Cas smiled up at him, his cheeks still flushed. “That was the best date ever. Next time let’s skip dinner.”

Dean chuckled as Cas curled up in his lap with the dog. He carded his fingers through those dark curls. “Next time I’ll cook for you.” Cas grinned up at him, his eyes shut. “You tired?”

“Not enough to want to go to bed yet.” Cas replied. He shifted in Dean’s lap and reached for Dean’s face.

Cinnamon yapped unhappily as she was abruptly woken up while Dean shifted so he and Cas were laying sided by side on the couch. Dean had his back pressed against the cushions and Cas clung to him, not wanting to fall off onto the floor. They kissed, their arms wound around each other, just holding to keep each other in place.

As their kisses grew heated Dean began rolling his hips practically throwing Cas off the couch. Cas shifted so he was laying on top of Dean, never letting his lips stray too far from Dean’s face. Dean’s hands started to wander, pushing Cas’s shirt out of the way and frantically searching the top of his slacks for the button. Cas kept his hands still where they lay on Dean’s chest, letting Dean do what he wanted.

“Take your damn pants off,” Dean said against his lips, giving up on trying to undo Cas’s pants.

Cas sniggered, “Only if you take yours.”

Dean only grunted and pushed Cas up so he could get to his own pants easier. Cas laughed at how much of a hurry Dean was in. He placed his hands on Dean’s, making them still. “I’ll still be here in a moment, Dean.” He swatted Dean’s hands away and slowly undid his slacks before moving to his own. As he wormed out of his pants Dean pushed his down and pulled Cas’s face back to him.

“Cas,” Dean moaned as he rolled his hips against Cas’s. Their dicks slid against each other, and Cas watched Dean groan from the feeling.

Before Dean could became completely lost Cas slid off of him, “Hold on, Dean.”

Dean complained as Cas got up from the couch and walked to the bedroom, pant less. He stopped his complaining when Cas returned and he saw that he was holding a tube of lube in one hand. Cas climbed back onto Dean and handed him the lube. Dean wasted no time in squirting a generous amount into his hand and slipping his hand between his and Cas’s body to get to Cas’s entrance.

Cas gripped Dean’s stomach as he fingered him, preparing him for a second finger. Cas’s mouth hung open as Dean’s third finger found its way into him. Dean thrust his fingers in and out of Cas for a time, watching the dazed look on the other man’s face and the way Cas’s dick twitched with anticipation.

Dean pulled his fingers out of Cas and grabbed the shirt that Cas was still wearing for some annoying reason and drew him close for a kiss. Their tongues clashed and rolled around each other. Dean was so caught up in the kiss that he jumped when Cas grabbed his cock and guided to his stretched entrance. Dean sighed as he felt Cas’s hot walls slowly engulf him.

Cas placed his hands on Dean’s stomach and slowly started to roll his hips. Dean watched Cas as he moved. When Cas opened his eyes to find Deans staring at him he smiled at him almost shyly. Dean smiled back and grabbed onto Cas’s waist and began to thrust into him in earnest. Cas started to make little gasping noises and Dean knew he was close.

He grunted and thrust hard into Cas, tipping him over the edge. White cum squirted from Cas’s dick and dribbled everywhere as Dean continued to thrust, his climax still not there. Cas held on to Dean the best he could as Dean continued to thrust into him. He was completely blissed out, but he happily sat on top of Dean as Dean kept going. Both men gasped aloud when Dean came in Cas.

Eyes shut once again, Cas smiled down at Dean. Dean reached up and grabbed Cas’s face to pull it down so he could kiss it.

“Best date ever,” Cas said against Dean’s mouth. Dean smiled and held Cas close.


	16. Chapter 16

_*dun dun*_

_once I rose above the noise and confusion,_

_just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion_

Cas rolled over in bed and groaned, “Dean, phone.”

“Dean,” He said louder, cracking an eye open at the silence that answered him. Cas pulled himself across the bed and grabbed for Dean’s phone. “Hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Winchester. Your test results are in, you may pick them up at your earliest convenience.” a man said on the other line.

 _Test results?_ “I’m not Mr. Winchester, but I’ll let him know you called. What are the test results for?”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” the man said politely, “It’s for his DNA test.”

 _DNA test?_ Cas thought, _What did Dean need a DNA test for? Unless. . ._

“You know whether Ben is Dean’s son or not?” Cas clutched the phone. Why hadn’t Dean told him he was getting a DNA test?

“I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot disclose any of Mr. Winchester’s information to you.”

“Right, sorry,” Cas said, “I’ll let Mr. Winchester know you called.”

“Very good, have a nice day.” the man said before hanging up.

Cas put Dean’s phone down and looked around Dean’s room. Cinnamon stared at him from her cocoon of covers at the end of the bed. Cas reached down and scratched her head, “Where’d Dean go, girl?”

Cinnamon only closed her eyes and rolled over for a belly rub. Cas smiled and rubbed her. Ever since he was little, Cas had wanted a dog. He stayed in bed a while longer with Cinnamon before getting up to find Dean.

Cas heard him humming before he saw him cooking in the kitchen. He walked up behind Dean and snuck his arms around Dean’s waist. He chuckled when Dean jumped and let the pan he had been holding clattered against the stove.

Dean let Cas kiss him good morning before glaring at his boyfriend. “I’m trying to make you breakfast and you almost threw it on the ground.”

“Why do I need breakfast when I have you?” Cas asked, brushing his nose along the stubble on Dean’s chin.

Dean chuckled and kissed Cas before turning back to whatever was in the pan. “I made you some coffee, it should still be warm.”

Cas placed the phone he had been holding on the counter next to Dean before wrapping his hands around the warm mug. “You got a call. Your DNA test results are in and you can pick them up whenever.”

Cas tried to keep the hurt from his voice, but hardly anything got past Dean. Turning the fire off and setting the pan down, Dean turned to kiss Cas on the cheek. “I was planning on telling you. I swear. I just didn’t want you to get your hopes up and then have them shattered if it turned out that Ben wasn’t mine.”

“I still would have liked to know,” Cas grumbled, but he was happy knowing that Dean had been planning on telling him. “Besides, I thought Lisa already said that Ben was your son.”

Dean flipped the omelet he had made onto a plate and set it on the table for Cas. “Daniel said that whether the mother agreed that the son was mine or not, I still had to have a DNA test to be sure. Especially if I want to fight for my right to have legal custody of Ben so that he can come live with me every now and then. I miss him, Cas, I really do. I try to talk to him as much as possible, but Lisa doesn’t like it so much. I was actually surprised when she agreed to a DNA test.”

“You’re using Daniel as you lawyer?” Cas asked, half his breakfast already gone. “Like Gabriel’s boyfriend Daniel?”

“Yeah?” Dean cracked a few more eggs in the pan. “Do you not like Daniel?”

“I don’t like Daniel.” Cas said. He watched Dean effortlessly flip the eggs around and add other foods, still amazed at Dean’s cooking skills.

“Why not?” Dean asked when he sat down across from Cas.

“He fishes.” Cas said, sticking his tongue out.

Dean laughed, “You don’t like Daniel because he fishes?”

“I don’t trust fishers. He’s also very clingy and likes to hug a lot.” Cas muttered into his coffee.

“You mean he’s personable and he likes to show affection?” Dean said. “I thought you liked hugs.”

“I like hugs.” Cas said as he got up and brought all the dishes to the sink. “But only hugs from you and Gabriel.”

Dean finished the last of his food and brought his plate to Cas who was washing. He wound his arms around his boyfriend. “My brother called. He said my dad’ll be in town tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Cas asked turning to look at Dean. ”That’s kind of sudden, isn’t it?”

“Apparently Sam’s known since our date last week and didn’t tell me.” Dean explained, “But anyways, I want you to meet him.”

Cas leaned back against Dean’s chest while he scrubbed. “I’d love to meet him.”

“Oh he’s great! He has a really short temper and can be kind of scary if you cross him,” Dean said with a nervous laugh, “but he’s cool. I hardly see him since his work takes him everywhere, but he always makes time for mine and Sammy’s birthdays. I had thought Dad forgot about my birthday until Sam called me.”

“Wait,” Cas said, interrupting his excited boyfriend. “When’s your birthday?”

“It’s tomorrow.” Dean said with a shrug before going back to talk about his dad. Cas let the dish he was holding drop to the bottom of the sink and turned to look Dean square in the face.

“Your birthday is tomorrow and you didn’t even think to tell me?” Cas demanded angrily. “We’ve been dating for almost a month and a half, Dean.”

Dean looked at his distressed boyfriend, “Birthdays have never been that big for me so it never crossed my mind to tell you. The only big thing that ever really happens is my dad visiting.” He tightened his hold on Cas, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Are you mad?”

Cas took one look at Dean’s stupid puppy dog look and turned back to the dishes. “Of course not.”

Dean kissed his neck and continued to ramble on about his dad, but Cas was hardly listening, As Dean talked and they moved to the couch Cas thought of what he was going to do for Dean’s birthday. It was too late to plan a party or get a reservation somewhere, but maybe they could go see a movie after he met Dean’s dad. But was a movie enough? Cas looked at Dean who was still talking. He wanted to do something special for Dean. Something that would make Dean excited about birthdays.

“Cas,” Dean said when he caught the far off look on his boyfriend’s face. He smiled as Cas slowly came back from his thoughts and looked at Dean sheepishly, “Did you want to go with me to pick up my results?”

“Results?” Dean bit back a laugh at the confused look on Cas’s face. He must have really been lost in his thoughts.

“My DNA test results. Did you want to come?”

“Oh, yes!” Cas said. He jumped off the couch and headed to the bedroom to get dressed before Dean even had time to blink. He chuckled and got up himself to get dressed.

After a shower Dean sifted through his closet, towel around his waist. “Dean,” Cas called. Dean turned to look at the other man, “You’ve been going through your closet for almost ten minutes. I don’t really think it matters what you wear to pick up you result.”

“Yeah,” Dean mumbled before randomly pulling something off the rack.

“Dean,” Cas said again. “That’s a winter coat, and it started to warm up a week ago.”

Dean only blinked at him. Cas sighed and walked to the closet and pulled some clothes for Dean. “You okay?” he asked, “You seem distracted”

Dean sighed, “I think I’m just nervous. What if Ben isn’t really my kid? But what if he actually is? What does Ben want? If Ben _is_ mine then is Lisa going to fight me for custody? Because having a lawyer isn’t exactly cheap. But then again, do I really want Ben looking up to me as a father figure?”

Cas rubbed Dean’s tense back and handed him his clothes. “Let’s just take it one step at a time. First we go get the results, then we’ll call Daniel and tell him and then let him tell us what to do next.”

Dean nodded as he pulled his shirt over his head. Once he was dressed he let Cas lead him downstairs and to the Impala, thoughts still whirling about what might happen. Dean was so focused on his thoughts that it took him a moment to notice Cas standing in front of him trying to give him the keys.

“Did you need me to drive?” Cas asked.

That pulled Dean back into the real world. He grabbed the keys from Cas and slid into the driver’s seat. No matter how much he liked someone or trusted someone he never let anyone drive his baby. As they drove Cas chatted away, trying to distract Dean from thinking too much about his DNA results. Dean laughed at an embarrassing story Cas told him and he relented when Cas begged to hear an embarrassing story of his own.

Before Dean knew it, they were at the clinic. Dean stepped out of his car and took a deep breath. Cas threaded his hand through Dean’s and squeezed. “You good?”

Dean glanced at Cas and nodded. Hand in hand, they walked into the clinic and soon Dean was handed his results. The guy Cas had been talking to on the phone came out to go through the results with Dean. Cas tried to listen, but the guy kept pointing out different things and talking in medical terms, making it hard for Cas to follow.

“Which means,” the man said. Cas perked up, hoping the guy wasn’t about to launch into some other medical lecture, “You are definitely the father.”

Dean stared at the man, unblinking. Cas squeezed his hand again and hugged his arm. “Did you hear him, Dean? Ben’s yours.”

“Are you hoping for custody?” the man asked Cas, since Dean still seemed unresponsive from being told the he really was a father.

Cas shrugged, “Not sure. I think that’s where we might be headed.”

“Well best of luck to the both of you.” the man said holding his hand out.

Cas shook his hand and led Dean back out of the clinic. Instead of getting back in the car Cas walked Dean across the street to the park and sat him down on one of the benches. “Dean, you need to say something. Are you happy? Or were you actually hoping Ben wasn’t yours? Are you going to try and fight for some custody over him? Hey, how did you even get a sample of Ben’s DNA with him living in a different state?”

“I, uh, convinced Lisa to mail it to the clinic.” Dean said, slowly letting his eyes drift up to meet Cas’s. Cas smiled at him, waiting for him to say something else. Dean tried for a small smile, “I think I am happy knowing that Ben is my son for sure. As to custody, I’d like him to come live occasionally with me if he wanted.”

Cas’s smile grew at how happy Dean seemed to be. Once the initial shock of learning the he was really a dad, Dean couldn’t stop grinning. “We should call Daniel and talk to him.” Dean said.

Cas placed his hand over Dean’s phone, “We’ll call him later, first let’s get some celebratory ice cream.”


	17. Chapter 17

Cas has never seen Dean so happy or excited. The entire car ride to Bobby's house he was whistling and singing along to every song that came on the radio. This morning Cas had woken up early and attempted to make pancakes for a breakfast in bed for Dean's birthday. He had somehow managed to fumble his way through making the batter and was trying to keep the pancakes from falling apart while he flipped them when Dean came yawning into the kitchen. Cas kissed him happy birthday before telling him off for getting out of bed. Dean only chuckled at him before trotting back to bed to await his birthday breakfast.

When his semi-edible pancakes were done, Cas placed everything on a plate along with a banana and grabbed a cup of coffee before carefully bringing everything to Dean's room. Despite it being a horribly made breakfast Dean had swallowed every bite with a smile.

Now the two were headed to Bobby's to see Dean's dad and Cas couldn't help but be caught up in the excitement that practically radiated off of Dean. As they pulled up to Bobby's Sam was pacing outside.

 "Hello," Cas said as he got out of the Impala. Sam was a lot taller than he had thought he would be.

Sam paused in his pacing and walked over to shake Cas's hand, "You must be Cas. It's so nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise." Sam was even bigger when standing directly next to him.

"Sammy!" Dean called, coming over to hug his brother.

"Happy birthday!" Sam said.

"Thanks, man. Is Dad inside?"

Cas watched a scowl fall on Sam's face as he nodded. "Does Sam not like your dad?" he asked as he followed Dean into the house.

"He and Dad always butt heads. Don't know why." Dean said as they stepped through the door. He grabbed Cas's hand and stopped, "One other thing, Cas. I never told my dad that I'm bi and he's only met girlfriends, so . . ."

Cas nodded in understanding, "You don't know how he'll react." He squeezed Dean's hand and Dean took a deep breath before leading Cas into the living room where Bobby sat on the couch next to someone. The other man stood up and Cas took in his black hair and leather jacket and the smile lines that appeared around his eyes when he smiled at Dean.

"Dad," Dean said, letting go of Cas's hand to clasp his father's.

"Dean, happy birthday, son." Dean's father said before turning his gaze to Cas, "And who is this?"

"I'm Cas." Cas said, holding his hand out when Dean seemed unsure of what to say.

"John." Dean's dad said. “You a friend of Dean’s?”

Cas peaked at Dean. He was staring at a point behind John and Cas could see a bead of sweat at his temple. Cas turned back to John with a smile and nodded, “Yes, sir, Dean and I are neighbors.”

“Come sit down.” John said, dropping back onto the couch, “Jody will get you each a drink. Dean, how’ve you been?”

Dean sat down next to his father and Cas sat down on the other couch with Bobby. Cas watched Dean wipe his hand nervously on his pants before giving his dad a half smile. “I’ve been good. Still working for Bobby, still living at the same place.”

John was utterly unaware of how his son squirmed in his seat and kept glancing at Cas every few seconds only to let his eyes wonder back to John. Every movement screamed out how anxious Dean was to Cas and Cas pondered at how John couldn’t see that. Dean, Bobby and John talked, occasionally pulling Cas into their conversation, but mostly they talked about old memories that Cas was not part of. Seeing that John only visited twice a year it didn’t take long for them to run out of memories to talk about and for them to move onto sports, something Cas had no hope of holding a conversation about. Instead he resigned himself to listening to the deep rumble of Dean’s voice and staring at the way Dean’s hands rested lightly on his lap.

At some point Jody came into the living room with more beers and sat down next to Cas. She bumped her shoulder against his, “Sports not your thing?”

Cas smiled at her, “No, they never really interested me. I’m more of a bookworm.”

“What kind of books do you read?” Jody asked with a smile.

“Mythology and history mostly, but honestly I haven’t read in ages.” Cas replied.

“Bobby has so many mythology books, come on, I’ll show them to you. I know he won’t mind if you borrow some.” Jody stood and turned to the leave the room.

Cas stood up too, drawing Dean’s eye to him.    He smiled at Dean and pointed to Jody, Cas waited for Dean to nod before leaving the room. Jody led Cas up the stairs and to one of the spare rooms. When she opened the door Cas’s eyes widened at the sight before him. Several shelves lined the walls and each one stuffed with books. There was in the middle of the room and even more books were piled on and around it.

“These are all Bobby’s?” Cas asked as he slowly walked in. “And all of these are mythology books?”

Jody nodded, “Yep, He used to spend hours in here, pouring over these books as if his life depended on it.”

“Why does he have so many?” Cas asked as he flipped through the open books on the desk.

“For work.” Cas looked up Jody curiously. Bobby worked as a mechanic, why would he need all these mythology books? Jody smiled, “He wasn’t always a mechanic, but that was another life. A life we are both glad to see gone.”

Cas stared at Jody a moment longer, hoping for an explanation, but when she didn’t expand he just turned his attention back to the books. Every book was completely different, filled with different mythologies from different times and different religions. “You said Bobby wouldn’t mind if I borrowed some of these?” Cas asked as he flipped through a book on angels.

“Course he wouldn’t,” Jody answered, “He never uses these anymore anyway. I know he’d be glad to be rid of all of them, but he keeps them in case anyone were to ever need them.”

“What would anyone need all these mythology books for?” Cass asked, tucking the angel book under his arm and picking up another about Egyptians.

“You’d be surprised.” was all Jody said. Cas meandered around the room, pulling a few books off the shelf until his arms were full. He let Jody help carry the books downstairs. When they reach the bottom step Dean stood up and laughed at the sight of Cas with all his books.

“Did you find what you were looking for, Cas?” Dean asked.

“I think so,” He dropped his gaze at the intense stare John was giving him.

“Glad those book are finally getting some use again,” Bobby said, bringing his beer to his lips.

Dean stood up and took the books Jody was holding before turning to face John from next to Cas. “We’re going to head out, but first there was something I wanted to tell you, Dad.”

Dean shifted the books to one arm and reached out to wrap his other arm around Cas’s waist, fully aware of the way his father’s brows furrowed. “Cas isn’t just my neighbor.” Dean swallowed and Cas bumped his hip against Dean’s reassuringly. “Cas is my boyfriend.”

A piercingly loud silence fell over the room as everyone waited on John’s reaction. Dean wanted to let his eyes fall to the floor like they did whenever his father looked him in the eye, but refused. He wanted to know what his father would say. John stared stony faced at his son, and Dean didn’t need word to tell him what he was thinking. It was all in his eyes. Disbelief, utter denial, and anger.

Bobby must have seen it too. He got up and stepped in front of John, facing Dean and Cas, smiled at them, “I’m glad you two could come over today. Cas, you keep those books as long as you want. Dean, as your birthday present you have the next few days off. And make sure that Sam doesn’t have any alcohol out there when you head out.”

“I’ll walk them out.” Jody said, placing a loving hand on Dean’s back.

Outside, Sam was nowhere to be found as Jody walk them to the car. She helped first Cas in, helping him stack all the books at his feet in the passenger seat before going around the car with Dean. Dean opened his door and slid in. Jody stopped him from shutting the door, making the man look up at her.

“You’re not in the wrong, Dean, John is. Try not to let this get to you. You are perfect the way you are.” Jody held Dean’s eyes until he nodded. She bent down and pecked him on the cheek. “You two take care and happy birthday, Dean.”

Cas watched Jody fade into the distance as Dean took off at a high speed. The car was horribly quiet and Cas could see Dean’s knuckles turning white with his grip on the steering wheel. He reached out and touched Dean gently. ”You’re going really fast.”

Dean clenched his jaw, “I’m aware.”

Cas didn’t know how to respond to that so he just sat back and stared at Dean as they zipped home. At the apartment Cas had to jog after Dean as he stormed up the stairs. “Dean, wait.” Cas called as Dean walked right past Cas’s apartment.

Dean turned to find Cas standing by his door, a lonely look on his face. Part of his fury melted from his face as he realized that he had shut Cas out in his anger. He strode over to Cas and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled against Cas’s neck.

“It’s alright,” Cas replied, holding Dean tight. He could feel him shaking, whether from left over anger or the need to break down, Cas couldn’t tell. They stood outside Cas’s door, just holding each other.

“I have a birthday present for you.” Cas whispered.

 Dean pulled back to look at his boyfriend. “You didn’t have to give me anything. I told I never really celebrate my birthday.”

Cas nodded, “Yes, you said that the only enjoyable thing that happens is your father coming to visit and seeing as that wasn’t exactly enjoyable I think you need some cheering up.”

Cas stepped back and opened his apartment door, pulling Dean inside. He flipped a light on to reveal a cookie cake sitting on the new kitchen table with the words _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!_ sprawled on it. Dean smiled and pulled Cas in for another hug. “Thank you, Cas.”

Cas chuckled, “Dean, you haven’t even tried the cake. You can’t thank me now.”

“I’ll thank you whenever I want to.” Dean replied with a kiss before letting go of Cas and swiping some icing off the top of his cake.

“I couldn’t figure out what to get you for a present.” Cas said as he grabbed a knife and some plates. “Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow or something.”

“I don’t need any presents.” Dean said as he happily took the piece of cake Cas handed him. Cas slid into the chair next to him and grinned at the way Dean dug into the cake. “This is really good, Cas. I don’t think I’ve ever had cookie cake before.” When Cas didn’t respond Dean looked up to find Cas smiling at him. “What?”

“I was just thinking about how much I love you.” Dean grinned and tugged at Cas’s arm for him to come closer. Cas obliged and lowered himself onto Dean’s lap. Cas dipped his head to Dean’s neck and kissed him gently. Dean hummed at the feel of Cas’s lips on his skin. He stuffed the rest of his cake into his mouth before catching his boyfriend’s lips and kissing him hard.

“You’re the best birthday present so far.” Dean murmured.

Cas climbed off of Dean’s lap and took his hand. “Let’s move this birthday to the bedroom.”

Dean let Cas slowly strip him of his clothes as they made their way to the bedroom. Cas’s lips burned hotly against his skin and as Cas laid him down on the bed Dean smiled. “What?” Cas asked as he leaned down to kiss Dean’s collar bone.

“Just thinking about how much I love you.” Dean answered.

Cas pulled back and squinted his eyes at Dean. Dean stared back with his green eyes that glowed in the light from the hall. Cas smiled back at Dean and lowered himself down against the other man, slotting their bodies together. “Happy birthday, Dean.”


	18. Chapter 18

Sam had to get out of this house. He had heard the explosion of anger his father had release on Bobby when Dean and Cas left. He had heard his father’s accusations and Bobby’s silence as he let John yell.

“How could you let this happen?” Sam heard as he slipped into the kitchen for some beer. “He’s a man and men like women, period.”

“Why?” Sam heard Bobby ask in a low voice. “Why is it only acceptable for men to like women?”

Sam placed half a dozen beers on the counter and rummaged through the pantry. Maybe he’d hunker down at Bobby’s old hunting cabin until his father left. John would only be here for another day or two, tops.

“Because that’s how it is! Men with Men isn’t right!”

“It ain’t right?” Bobby asked. “It’s unnatural? It’s something that shouldn’t belong in this world?”

Sam paused in his rummaging. He’d heard Bobby when he was mad plenty of times, but he’s never heard Bobby like this. His voice was still low, but it was stony and cold. Unforgiving and laced with fury.

“You know what else you consider unnatural and something that shouldn’t belong in this world?” There was a moment of silence and Sam was tempted to peak into the next room. “Those supernatural beings that you hunt. That I used to hunt. You consider those things unnatural, but they aren’t. Some have been in this world long before humans crawled out of the dirt and some will be here well after we crawl back into the ground. They have been a part of this world since the start and will always be here despite what you do. That’s just how the world is. I didn’t _let_ Dean do anything except be who he is. Who he’s always been and who he will always be. He likes women, he likes men. That’s just who he is and you can’t change it, just like you can’t change the supernatural world. You either accept it or deny it, but either way, what you do will not change a thing.”

Silence filled the house and Sam listened, waiting for his father’s reaction.

“Whatever.” Sam heard John lean back into the couch. He didn’t know his father well enough to know if his whatever had been him brushing the conversation away or if it was him accepting it.

Sam turned back to the pantry to find Jody behind him with her arms crossed, making him jumped, it always surprised him at how quietly Jody moved around. “Where are you going?” She asked, her voice quiet so that Bobby and John wouldn’t hear them.

“Hunting.” Sam answered, matching her volume. He reached around Jody for a can of beans.

“You don’t hunt.” Jody said. When Sam didn’t respond she placed a hand on his arm. “Running off won’t do you any good, Sam.” When he didn’t respond, Jody sighed and sat down at the table, holding a beer out for Sam. “I know you don’t like your dad, but this is still your home.”

Sam nodded and sat down at the table too. The two of them drank, their silence mingling with the quiet from the next room. As Sam reached for another beer he heard John clear his throat. “I’m not just here for Dean’s birthday. I’m on a hunt.”

“I don’t hunt anymore.” Bobby replied. “Not since that last Demon.”

Jody glanced from Sam’s unsurprised face to where Bobby and John’s voices were coming from. “You know about hunters?”

Sam nodded to Jody’s surprise. “Dad hunts the supernatural.”

Sam could tell that Jody hadn’t known that he knew what his dad did. He wondered how much Jody knew about hunters. Maybe he’d ask her later. The couch creaked in the other room as someone leaned forward, followed by Bobby’s voice. “What is it you’re hunting?”

“Angels,” John said, his voice low.

Sam paused, bottle against his mouth. _Angels?_ He hadn’t thought those were real. From the look on Jody’s face she had been unaware too. _If angels were real then why would hunters need to hunt them?_

“Angels,” Bobby repeated, “Have they been getting into trouble again?”

The way Bobby said it made it sound like this wasn’t such an unusual thing. Sam shifted in his chair to better hear what his father was going to say, beer forgotten. “Their looking for some fallen angel. Something about the gates of heaven. I’m not quite sure myself, but I do know that they are causing havoc everywhere with this search and that’s where I come in.”

“You tracked them here?”

“Yeah.” John said. He got up from the couch, “I’m going to get a few hours of sleep before thinking on this again. I’ve been on this angel’s tail for two weeks now.”

Sam listened to his father as he headed upstairs, thinking on what he just heard. Angels weren’t supposed to cause havoc, they were guardians. They were supposed to be peaceful and protect humans.

“Did you hear the whole thing, Sam?” Bobby called from the other room.

Sam slowly got up from the table and walked to the next room, shoulders hunched like a puppy caught peeing on the rug. “Yes.”

Bobby gestured for Sam to sit and he did. Sam didn’t know if Bobby was mad at him or not. When he and Dean were younger Bobby would send the two of them out of the house for hours when people came to visit him and would be angry when they interrupted. Sam now realized those must have been hunters coming for help and Bobby hadn’t wanted them to know about it.

“Angels are dangerous, boy. I want you to be careful, especially when you and Jody go to work down at the station. Got that?” Bobby stared over at Sam seriously.

Sam nodded, “But aren’t angels supposed to be good?”

A hint of a smile ghosted over Bobby’s face, “That’s what we thought. They’re fine and dandy when they stay up in heaven, but when they come down to earth and are distanced from their home they don’t stay exactly _angelic_.”

Sam sat back in the couch and stared out the window. _Angels, huh._

***

“You’re an angel, Cas.” Dean called from Cas’s living room as he heard the front door open.

Cas rolled his eyes as he sat down next to Dean. He handed him the beer he had picked up at the store, “Turn the TV down, Dean. You may have the next few days off, but I need to get some work done.”

Dean sprawled out on the couch to where his head was resting on Cas’s lap and his feet were hanging off the arm before turning the TV down. Cas stared down at Dean’s head on his manuscript and sighed. He got comfy on the couch and took the remote from Dean to turn the TV back up. “I’ll proof read later.”

Dean smiled and kissed Cas’s leg. Cas rested one hand on Deans shoulder and ran his other hand through Dean’s short hair. The sound of the TV filled the room and Dean let the noise wash over him. His father may not be happy about him and Cas, but why should that matter? Dean was happy and Sam and Bobby and Jody accepted him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for making you wait so long for this chapter! i've just been so stressed with school

“You’re still reading those mythology books?” Dean asked as he bent down to pet Cinnamon who had fallen asleep in Cas’s lap.

Cas spared Dean half a glance, “I’ve only had the books for four days.”

“Well, I’m headed back to work.” Dean said, kissing Cas and patting his dog again.

“’mkay.” Cas replied, eyes still glued to the book in his hands.

“Don’t spend all day reading that book.” Dean called as he opened the apartment door, “You still have stuff to edit.” Cas nodded. He was too focused on his book to register the low chuckle from Dean as he left.

An hour later Cas finally pulled his nose out of the book and got up from the couch, earning a whine from the dog dosing on his lap. It took him a second before he remembered that Dean had left for work already.

Dean had been off for four days and almost all of those days had been spent obsessing over his father. Cas had felt like a broken record as he tried his best to comfort Dean. He’d reassured Dean that his father’s opinion didn’t matter, that Dean was an amazing person, and he’d constantly find himself rubbing his hands up and down Dean’s arms or back.

At least now Dean was going back to work and his dad had probably already left and Dean’s mind would have something else to think about besides his dad. Cas scratched Cinnamon on the head and headed for the kitchen to pick up the novel he was currently editing and to make some coffee.

Just as Cas sat down to start working he heard Dean’s phone go off. Confused, Cas looked around Dean’s apartment. He must have forgotten his phone at home. Cas finally found it by the toaster. He paused when he caught a glimpse of the caller ID. It was Lisa. He wanted to leave it, let it ring and go to voicemail, but he also wanted to know why Lisa was calling Dean.

Cas clenched his fist and grabbed the phone, “Hello?”

“Oh, who is this? Is Dean there?” Lisa’s asked.

“Sorry, Dean’s not home right now. I’m Cas, Dean’s . . . uhh . . .” Did Lisa know that Dean was dating him?

“Dean’s boyfriend.” Lisa finished in a quiet voice. “Dean’s told me about you.”

 _He has?_ “He has?”

Cas heard Lisa let out a small huff and could tell she was smiling sadly when she said, “Yeah, you’re the reason Dean and I aren’t together. I’m sorry, that sounded harsh. I just meant that I wanted to get back together with Dean, but he had already moved on.”

“Oh,” was all Cas could think to say.

“I just wanted to finally settle down, have a normal life with Ben and for some reason I always saw Dean in that picture. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s because Dean is so obviously Ben’s dad and the two click so well and maybe it’s because I never really got over Dean. And then when Dean told me about you I couldn’t bear the thought of staying around the area and seeing him so happy with someone else, because that’s what I wanted.” Lisa said. There was a moment of silence which Lisa broke with a short chuckle. “I’m sorry, Cas. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you.”

“No, it’s fine.” Cas answered, a mental picture of Dean in a picket fenced house with Lisa and Ben forming in his mind. “I’ll, uh, have Dean, uh call you when he gets home from work.”

“Wait, Cas. Can I ask you something?”

What on earth could Lisa have that she wanted to ask Cas? “Um, sure.”

Cas listened to the silence over the phone before Lisa asked, “Are you two happy?”

She sounded so sad. Cas could almost picture the pretty face he remembered with her eyebrows turned down and her sad brown eyes. “Yes, we are.”

“Then I’m happy for Dean,” she said with a sigh like she was letting go. “Tell Dean that I don’t want to go to court over custody and Ben has been asking for him so if Dean is okay with it Ben can come live with you guys every now and then. He can call me later to work everything out without a lawyer.”

“Wow, thanks, Lisa. I know this means a lot to Dean, he’ll be very happy.” Cas smiled. He was glad of Lisa choice.

“Will you also tell him happy birthday for me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Oh, and Cas,” Lisa said before Cas could hang up, “Make sure to take care of Dean. He may seem like a pretty happy-go-lucky guy, but that’s only because he internalizes everything. Sometimes he needs a little prodding to open up. I’m sorry, it’s probably not my place since I’ve been a problem for Dean lately, but maybe you’ll help him through the rough patches.”

“Thank you.” Cas had seen how Dean bottled things up, maybe he’d take Lisa’s advice and prod him a bit. They said goodbye and hung up.

Cas looked at his manuscript he had been planning to edit and then at the coffee sitting on the counter. He grabbed both of them and headed out the door. He walked down the block to his brother’s bar. It was still morning and the place was closed, but Cas opened the door anyways, knowing his brother would be in.

“—said he was back in town. This can’t be good, you _know_ why he’s here you need to—.”

“Cas!” Gabriel called, cutting off the person he was talking to. “What’s up, baby bro?”

Cas smiled at his brother. He was sitting at the bar with Daniel next to him. “Hey Gabriel, Daniel.”

Daniel looked angry from whatever he and Gabriel had been talking about, but he smiled at Cas and scooted one seat over so Cas could sit between them.

“Want a drink?” Daniel asked, gesturing to the bar, “I know the owner.”

Cas lifted his coffee, “I’m good. I actually just came to ask Gabriel if I could borrow his car.”

Gabriel groaned. “Casss, you really need to get your own car. You’re always borrowing mine.”

“I am not,” Cas said defensively. “I walk almost everywhere and I only borrow your car when I need to go somewhere I normally don’t.”

Gabriel squinted, “Where’s this place you normally don’t go? And why can’t you just have your boy toy drive you. He’s got a sweet ride and he lives down the hall from you! Unless now he just lives across the bed from you.” Gabriel said with a wink.

Cas blushed, “I need to go see Dean. He’s at work right now.”

“Can’t you just wait to take his pants off when he gets home, Cas?” Cas heard Daniel choke on his drink behind him, apparently finding Gabriel funny.

Cas narrowed his eyes, “He’s not my boy toy, Gabriel, we’re in an actual relationship, and I have something important to tell him.”

“Just give him the keys, Gabe.” Daniel said. Gabriel glared behind Cas at his boyfriend before tossing his keys to his brother.

“Drive safe, Cas.”

Cas made sure to give his brother a hug before waving at Daniel and heading out. As he drove, Cas wondered how Dean was doing. He was always talking about the cars he was working on. While Cas couldn’t understand what Dean was really talking about he could sure understand the excitement and happiness that radiated from Dean when he talked about cars. Hopefully getting back to work was helping him forget about his dad.

At Bobby’s Cas pulled up next to the Impala and got out. No one was in the garage so Cas went up to the house and knocked on the door. Bobby was the one to answer.

“Hey, Cas, what can I do for you?” Bobby said, scanning the yard behind Cas.

Cas glanced over his shoulder, but saw nothing, “I have some news for Dean.”

Bobby held the door open for him, “He’s in the kitchen, but just a warning, I’m almost out of beer.”

Confused, Cas headed through the house. “Dean?”

At the kitchen table Dean looked up, empty beer bottles and cans scattered in front of him, “Cas? ‘s that you?”

“Dean, are you drunk?” Cas asked, rushing to Dean and pulling the bottle from his hands.

Dean tried to grab it back, but Cas held it away. Bobby walked in after and leaned against the doorframe, “He’s been drinking since about an hour after he got here.”

“Why?” Cas asked.

“John’s still here and they got into a nasty fight.” Bobby answered. He took the bottle from Cas and chugged it, “I was actually surprised they didn’t start throwing punches.”

“I thought John left a couple of days ago.” Cas said

Bobby shrugged, “He’s got some business to finish up here. You should probably take Dean home. I was going to call you, but Dean didn’t have his phone on him and he was too drunk to get the numbers straight.”

Bobby helped Cas get Dean, who kept leaning on them as if to go to sleep, into Gabriel’s car. The entire drive home Dean dosed on and off. When he was awake he complained about Cas driving his baby until Cas told him they weren’t in his car then he complained about not being in his baby. When he was asleep Cas could just hear him mumbling about his dad.

With a lot of difficulty Cas dragged Dean upstairs and pulled his clothes off before tucking him into bed. He left Dean there with Cinnamon licking his face as he headed back out to return his brother’s car. When he got back to the apartment Dean had shifted until the covers were on the floor and the dog was in the other room, not liking the smell of alcohol.

Dean woke up every hour or so, but he wouldn’t stay awake for long. Cas made sure to give him water and offer food each time he woke up. It wasn’t until about midnight that Dean finally woke up and stayed awake.

“Cas?” Dean called. Cas came running from where he had been working in the living room.

“Hey, you’re finally awake.” Cas said, handing Dean a glass of water, “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts a little. What time is it?”

“A quarter to twelve.” Cas answered. “Do you remember what happened today?”

Dean’s face darkened and a scowl crowded his face. “My dad’s still here.”

Cas climbed into the bed and curled up next to his boyfriend. He knew there wasn’t really anything he could say that he hadn’t already. Should he try prodding him like Lisa had suggested? Cas wanted to, but he was worried that that might just push Dean away. “You got a call today.”

Cas waited for the scowl to disappear and for Dean to look at him. “Who was it?”

“Lisa.” Cas saw the ghost of the scowl. He entwined his hand with Dean’s and ran his thumb over the back. “She wants Ben to be able to come live with you every now and then. She said you can call her to work things out.”

“She . . . what?” Dean asked, completely surprised. “Are you sure you heard her right?”

Cas nodded before settling down closer to Dean with a sigh. “You should call her in the morning.”

“Okay.” Dean said as he laid down too and held Cas close to him.

Silence engulfed them and Dean stared at the room, sure Cas had fallen asleep.

“Dean?” Cas’s quiet voice ghosted through the dark.

“Mmmm?”

“You do know that you can talk to me about your dad if you want. You can trust me.” Cas listened as they laid in bed.

Dean shifted and kissed Cas’s forehead. “I know, Cas. Thank you.”

Cas nuzzled his face against Dean’s chest, not quite satisfied with the answer.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the wait again! heres the next chapter and hopefully i'll be back to posting regularly

“Okay, I still need to go grocery shopping. I need to make sure the sheets in the guest room are clean. Should I call someone to clean the apartment? Do you think anyone would even have someone available today?” Cas sipped his coffee as he watched Dean furiously scrub a sparkling clean pan. “We can go down to the shop, but I don’t want him meeting my dad. But I know Bobby’ll want to see him again. Oh! What about school? He’ll be here for two weeks, he can’t miss that much school.”

Cas chuckled. He slipped off his chair and handed Dean his empty mug. “It’s summer time, Dean. And this is _Ben_ you are talking about. I think all you really need to worry about is clean sheets and grocery shopping. I’ll do both of those today while you’re out so that you don’t have to worry about that.”

Dean nodded, Cas was right. He took a deep breath. Ben was coming today, exactly one week after Lisa and Dean agreed to make the whole custody thing work without any court orders. “Are you going to the bus station with me to pick up Ben?”

 _Please come with me to pick up Ben_ , was what Cas got out of that question. He nodded, “Of course, Dean.”

Dean kissed Cas’s temple. “You’re the best, Cas. I’ll come pick you up after work.”

Dean left to get dressed and Cas followed. “Dean, I don’t think you should really even go to work.”

“Why?”

From the tone of Dean’s voice Cas knew that Dean knew exactly why. But Cas could also hear that he would have to spell it out for him. “Your father is still in town. Every day you got to work a little angry and every day you come home angrier.”

“That’s no excuse to not work.” Dean said, pulling a shirt over his head. “I have to work.”

“Bobby said its okay of you take off until your father leaves. He said he could make it like paid time off since you never take any days of anyways.”

“You talked to Bobby?” Dean didn’t sound mad, but Cas could tell he was headed that way.

 _Working with cars is his passion._ Bobby had said when Cas had called him to talk about Dean. _He won’t admit it because he’s a stubborn bastard, but this is his center, he needs this. He will make every excuse he can to come to work. There’s no point in telling him to not come._

“I’ll see you after work then?” Cas asked.

Dean stared at Cas for a moment before pulling him in for a slow kiss. “I’ll see you after work. You got everything covered here?”

Cas nodded, “You’ll try not to get into another fight with your father?”

“You know me, the perfect pacifist.” Dean joked.

Cas wanted to laugh along with Dean, but all he could think about was the last fight Dean had gotten into with his father. Dean hadn’t told anyone what John had said, but he had punched his father in the face. The fight might have gotten a whole lot uglier if Sam and Jody hadn’t been there to drag Dean back to the house.

“No fights.” Cas repeated. He remembered that when he met John he had looked like a fighter, with a fair amount of muscle on him and Cas was worried that he wouldn’t refrain from using that muscle on his son.

“Gotcha,” Dean said seriously. He kissed Cas one more time before heading out, leaving Cas alone with the dog.

Cinnamon whined and scratched at the door. Cas bent over and petted her head, “Yeah, I worry about him too, girl.”

He picked up the sad yorkie and brought her to Dean’s room so that he could get dressed. Since he and Dean had started dating many of his clothes had traveled to Dean’s apartment and many of Dean’s clothes had traveled to his. Unfortunately, hardly any of those clothes on the floor of Dean’s room were clean. The only thing Cas could fine were some boxers, and even those he wasn’t 100% sure were clean.

“Dean won’t mind if I just use his clothes will he?” Cas asked Cinnamon as he pulled open the dresser drawers. He realized he could probably just walk down the hall to his own place to get some clothes, but Cas really didn’t feel like putting the extra effort into that.

Once Cas had put on some of Dean’s old jeans and a not-as-worn-as-the-rest t-shirt he headed out to do the grocery shopping. He had to talk his brother into letting him borrow his car again, but Gabriel finally gave in and Cas was on his way.

He strolled up and down the aisles in the store, wondering if he should load up on ice cream and ten minute pizzas for Ben. He was contemplating calling Dean when his phone went off.

“Hello?”

“Cas!” Gabriel’s voice called through the phone.

“Gabriel? Are you okay?” Cas asked his anxious sounding brother.

“I’m fine.” Gabriel answered quickly. “I was just wanting to . . . uh . . . check up on you.”

“Why?”

“Why? Can’t I just want to know if my baby brother is okay?”

Cas squinted as he tossed four ten minute pizzas in the shopping cart. “You’ve never called to check up on me before.”

“Okay, well obviously you are fine. Call if you need anything.” Gabriel said in a rush before hanging up.

Cas stuffed his phone back in his pocket, shrugging off his brother’s weirdness. He’d ask him about it when he brought him his car back. He tossed two more pizzas and some hot pockets into the cart before continuing down the aisles.

***

Groceries, check. Clean sheets, check. Cas looked around Dean’s apartment. Should he clean? The place was already fairly clean, but it could use a good dusting. Cas shook his head. No, he’d let Dean dust if he wanted. Cas just had to return his brother’s car then all he had left was to wait for Dean to pick him up.

When Cas got to _The Trickster’s_ he was surprised to see the closed sign still hanging even though it was well past the usual time Gabriel opened shop. He stepped through the door and quietly entered. He paused when he heard his brother’s voice.

“Of course I’m worried, Daniel, he’s my brother.” All thoughts of making his presence known flew out of Cas’s mind. Why was his brother worried about him?

“We should just let things play out. Who knows, maybe we can all go home after this.”

Gabriel let out a short laugh, “In case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t exactly want to go home. I left home eons ago and have no notion of returning. If you want to go home, be my guest, but I don’t want Cas getting hurt. And just FYI, that dick who’s trying to get us back home is ambitious, yes, but he’s also reckless.”

“I thought you liked him.”

“Sure, I _do_ like him, but you saw what he did to Cas. He held on too tight, got too attached. I won’t let him hurt Cas like that again.”

“Gabriel,” Daniel sighed, “Meddling will cause a mess. Like I said, maybe everything will work out.”

“Maybe, but at what cost?”

 _What on Earth are they talking about?_ Cas wondered, _go home? What home? And what about going home could hurt me? And why did it sound like they were talking about Balthazar?_ A shiver went through Cas. That was not a name he really wanted to think about.

The car keys slipped through Cas’s fingers. He tried to make a desperate grab for them, but only managed to kick the door back open as the keys clattered to the ground.

Bar stools scraped against the floor, “I’m sorry.” Daniel said, “The bar is closed right—“ he paused when he saw Cas, “Hello, Cas.”

“I’m just dropping off the car.” Cas said, handing Daniel the keys. Before Daniel or Gabriel could say anything Cas was out the door and walking back to the apartment.

Dean found him later curled up with Cinnamon on the bed. “Heya Cas, you sleepy?”

“No, just thinking.” Cas replied as Cinnamon got up to greet her owner.

Dean noticed the way that Cas didn’t look at him and the quietness of his voice. “You don’t happen to be thinking of s certain _someone_ , are you?”

Was he that obvious? Cas sat up and tried for a smile, noticing that Dean didn’t sound angry after a day of work. Maybe John had left town. “No, I’m fine, Dean. What time does Ben’s bus get in?”

Dean stared at Cas for a moment before glancing down at his watch. “We have to be there in a half hour. You dressed and ready to go? If you’re tired and would rather stay here, that’s fine.”

Cas got up from the bed and brushed the dog hair from his shirt. “I’m good. Ready when you are.”

“Then let’s go get my son.” Dean said with a smile. He held the front door open for Cas and pointed down at his clothes, “I like what you’re wearing.”

The two of them got to the bus station with ten minutes to spare. Cas scanned the crowd, he liked to people watch. Dean scanned every passing bus, he was anxious to see Ben after several weeks.

A tall man with dark blond hair and wearing a grey v-neck shirt caught Cas’s attention and he had to do a double take to make sure it wasn’t a certain someone. Cas shook his head vigorously and turned his attention to the buses. There was no way that person was here. There was no reason for him to be here. Cas only thought he saw him because he had heard his brother talking about him today. Well, not exactly talking about him by name, but Cas was pretty sure Gabriel had been talking about his ex.

“Dean!” Cas and Dean jumped up from the bench they were sitting on as a freckled-faced kid came running off a bus. Dean opened his arms and Ben launched himself into them. Standing so close to each other Cas could definitely see the resemblance between the two.

“How are you, kiddo?” Dean asked, slinging an arm over Ben’s shoulder and steering him back to where he had parked.

“I’m good.” Ben said, a huge smile on his face.

“You hungry?”

“Yeah, can we get pizza?” Ben asked as the Impala revved up.

Dean nodded and he and Ben launched into an intense conversation about baseball and cars and rock music. Cas watched them interact from the back seat. He had insisted Ben sit up front with Dean so that they could talk. Dean leaned across the seat and bumped his shoulder with Ben’s, meeting Cas’s eyes in the rearview mirror, his face spilt wide by a smile.

“Dude, I missed this place!” Ben exclaimed as his pizza was set down in front of him. He dug into his food with as much enthusiast as Cas had seen Dean have. “They don’t have any good pizza joints back home.”

Cas joined into the conversation as the talked about local food joints. Ben wanted to hit every single one while he was here and Dean was completely on board.

“Alright.” Dean said when they got to his apartment. “You know where everything is, the guest room is yours and no touching the beer in the fridge.”

Ben nodded, happily greeting Cinnamon who had jumped from the couch to say hello. “Do you live here too, Cas?”

“I,” Cas paused, not sure how to answer. He didn’t technically live here, but he did spent most nights here with Dean when they weren’t staying at his place. “Sometimes.”

“Mom said you two are really happy, that’s good.” Ben said as he dragged his luggage to his room. “Hope you know it won’t bother me if you want to stay here while I’m here.”

Cas nodded, grateful for how accepting Ben was. He and Dean hadn’t even giving their own sleeping arrangements any thought.

Once Ben was settled in the three of them crowded onto the couch to watch some movies. Cas was a little weary about leaning against Dean like he usually did, but when he saw Ben smiling at them when he thought they weren’t looking, Cas grew more comfortable. He rested his head on Dean’s shoulder as their fingers entwined, the three of them completely at ease as the movie played.


	21. Chapter 21

“Did you really do that when you were my age?” Ben asked incredulously.

“Scout’s honor.” Dean swore. “It was the craziest thing ever and I got in so much trouble form Bobby after,” Ben grinned and Dean leaned across the kitchen table with a wink, “but it was definitely worth it.”

“Man, I’d never be able to get away with that.” Ben said with a huge smile, “Hey, Dean, can I come to work with you today. I want to see Bobby.”

Dean swallowed his coffee. “Uh, yeah, sure. Why don’t you go get showered. Maybe we’ll even see if Cas wants to go too.”

Ben jumped up from the table and headed to the bathroom for a shower. Dean set his mug by the sink and went to his room to find his phone. A sleeping Cas still lay in bed, softly snoring. Dean messed with Cas’s messy hair as he brought his phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Morning, Bobby.”

“Boy, it is seven in the morning.” Bobby asked grumpily.

“Yeah, I know. Ben wants to come to work with me to work today and I just wanted to see if you couldn’t make my dad not be there.” Dean asked. He knew that Bobby would never kick anyone out of his house, but he hoped that maybe he could make him leave for at least just today.

“You know your daddy will be mad if he finds out he has a grandson and you never let him meet him.” Bobby said. Dean didn’t say anything back. He could hear Bobby getting out of bed followed by the creak of the old guest room door. “John . . . John? . . . huh . . . he’s taken off for the day for some business, I guess. Left a note saying that he’ll be back late tonight or tomorrow.”

“What is this ‘business’ he has here, anyways?” Dean asked, clenching his fist before stretching it back out so that he could run his hand down the side of Cas’s face. “Every time I go to your place he’s holed up inside the house ‘working’.”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Bobby replied. “He’s family though and he’s welcome anytime so I ain’t gonna just kick him out. Now if you don’t mind I’m going back to bed. I’ll see you when you get here.”

Dean sighed and stared down at his sleeping boyfriend. He wished his father would just leave already. He hated going to work and having to think about how to best avoid him. His dad had never said anything to his face, but he see from the look in his eyes that John did not like the fact that he had a boyfriend. Dean tried to listen to Cas’s words, that it didn’t matter what John thought, and that Dean was loved, but it still stung when his father looked at him.

“Dean . . .” Cas muttered in his sleep. Dean smiled and ran his hand down Cas’s  arm. A ragged breath came from the sleeping man, “No, don’t.”

“Cas?” Dean asked, concerned.

Cas’s breathing hitched and he rolled over, “Stop.” His body curled in on itself and Cas’s fists clenched. “Please.”

“Cas.” Dean called, shaking Cas’s shoulder.

“Dean,” Cas gasped as he sat bolt up. He clenched the covers as he blinked, searching the room. His wild blue eyes found Dean and Cas reached for him, burying his face against Dean’s chest.

“Cas, hey buddy.” Dean sat quietly, rubbing circles on Cas’s back as he took in deep breaths, “It was just a dream. I got you now.”

When Cas’s breathing had slowed to normal Dean pulled back to look at him. “You okay? You want to talk about it?” Cas shook his head before pulling Dean back to him. “Okay, well Ben is going to Bobby’s with me, you wanna come?”

“Sure.” Cas said after a moment of silence. “Just let me get dressed.”

Dean chuckled and kissed the top of Cas’s head. “Okay, but you’ll have to run to your place to grab some clothes, almost all my clothes are dirty.”

Cas smiled into Dean’s shirt before getting up and stretching. He ran a hand through his hair, unsuccessfully attempting to tame the wild mess.

“Cas,” Dean called as Cas walked away. “Talk to me if you need, okay?”

“Okay, Dean.” Cas said before he left. He greeted Ben who was walking out of the shower as he left the apartment. Cas took a deep breath and headed down the hall. His thoughts were so focused on that horrible dream that he’d had that he didn’t notice his apartment door was open until he reached for the handle.

Cas reeled back at the sound of boots hitting the floor inside. He practically ran back to Dean’s place, bursting through the door and to the bedroom where Dean still was.

“Cas? What’s wrong?” Dean jumped up from bed and rushed to Cas.

“There’s someone in my home. The door was open when I got there and . . .” Cas trailed off.

Dean marched out of the room, Cas following behind, and went to the living room. He grabbed a baseball bat from off the shelf and headed out the door.

“Dean,” Cas called after him, “Shouldn’t we call someone instead?”

“Shhh,” Dean held a finger to his mouth. He quietly stepped closer to Cas’s apartment, Cas not too far behind.

“Dean,” Cas whispered as Dean pushed his door open and slipped in.

“Cas? What’s going on?” Cas whirled around the find Ben standing outside Dean’s apartment. Before he could answer there was a loud thunk.

“What the hell? Dad?!” Cas and Ben hurried to Cas’s apartment and found Dean and John facing each other, John had his fists raised and Dean held the bot over his shoulder, ready to strike.

“What are you doing here, son?” John asked, lowering his fists.

“Is that Dean’s dad?” Ben asked Cas.

Cas placed his hands on Ben’s shoulders and pulled him a step back as John’s gaze fell on them. “Yeah.”

“What am I doing here?” Dean asked heatedly, the bat still raised, “This is Cas’s place. What are you doing breaking into his home? Bobby said you were gone for the day.”

“I’m working on a job.”

“A job?” Dean finally let the bat drop, but his hands stayed clenched around the handle at his side. “What kind of job requires you to break into my boyfriend’s apartment?”

John glanced from Cas to Ben and back to Dean. The disgusted glint in his eyes crystal clear to Cas. “If you want to know let’s go somewhere to talk.”

Silence rang through the dark apartment and Cas was worried for a moment that Dean would let John lead him somewhere secluded before taking a swing at him. Dean turned to look at where Cas and Ben stood, Cas’s hands still on Ben’s shoulders, before turning back to face his father. “I’ll pass. Just get out.”

“Dean I—“

“Get out.” Dean repeated through clenched teeth.

John stared a moment longer before walking past Cas and Ben, looking Ben up and down. Cas’s hands tightened slightly on Ben’s shoulder catching John’s eye. Cas tried not to wither under the dagger like stare of Dean’s father, but it was hard.

Dean stepped up placed his hand over Cas’s on Ben’s shoulder, “I don’t want to see you back here.” he warned his father. John just kept walking.

“What was he doing here?” Ben asked when John was out of sight.

“I don’t know and I really don’t want to know.” Dean said. He flipped on some lights and started rooting around Cas’s kitchen before moving to the living room.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas asked.

“Just checking to see if my dad messed with any of your stuff. Why don’t you go get changed and we’ll head out when you’re done.” Dean answered as he moved some of Cas’s book around on his shelf.

“Make yourself at home,” Cas told Ben, “Not sure if there is any food in the kitchen though.”

“Thanks, Cas.” Ben said.

An hour later the three of them were in the Impala driving to Bobby’s. Ben had insisted the Cas sit up front too so the three of them were crammed into the front seat, bumping elbows and laughing at jokes. Cas didn’t find the arrangement very practical or safe, but he was happy.

As Bean laughed at the way Dean sang along to a song on the radio Cas glanced out the window at the few trees by the road. Up ahead he saw a shadowy figure standing under the shade of a large tree. As the Impala drove closer Cas stared. The figure leaned against the tree trunk and Cas could see short dirty blond hair and a familiar lined face.

He leaned farther against the window to watch the person he had known so well rush by as they drove down the road. Once he was out of sight Cas leaned back in his seat, thinking he was losing his mind.


	22. Chapter 22

_“Dean!” Cas could feel the heat of the fires. He reached for Dean, but strong arms held him back._

_“Let him go.”_

_“Dean! No!”_

The sound of his own name being called woke Cas up. He sucked in a deep breath and pulled up the covers that had been kicked to the foot of the bed.

“Was it another nightmare?” Dean asked threading his hand through Cas’s.

Cas nodded, “I’m fine.” he said before Den could ask. He’d been having nightmares for the past week. Well, not nightmares, but one very vivid very gruesome nightmare, but Dean didn’t need to know that. Cas pushed the covers off and got up. ”Go back to sleep.” he said when Dean made to get up, “I’m just getting some water.”

Cas gulped down two glasses of water before he felt calm enough to think back on his dream. When he had first started having the dream it had frightened him and he’d shoved it to the back of his mind, but then he’d began having the same dream over and over again. Cas felt like he was losing his mind. He thought he had finally gotten over him. Balthazar. He had hardly given him a second thought in quite a while and now Balthazar seemed to be bombarding his thoughts at every turn.

Cas shut his eyes and his dream came rushing back to him as if he’d never woken. Balthazar stood behind him, hands Cas had once trusted held him close. The flames that engulfed the room were so hot that Cas would’ve sworn that they were real. Everything was on fire except for the spot where he and Balthazar stood.

“Let him go.” Balthazar quietly urged into his ear.

Cas shook his head and called Dean’s name, staring at the ceiling where the fire had started. Dean was plastered to the ceiling, his green eyes glowing in the light of the flames that were trying to swallow him.

Cas opened his eyes to find Dean’s kitchen. He got up and went to the bathroom, running the water cold in the shower. Cas let the water wash over him. If the dream hadn’t been enough Cas had also been haunted by Balthazar everywhere he went. Anywhere he went Cas saw Balthazar in the crowd of people only to look back for him and find nothing.

He ran his hands over his face, shivering under the cold shower. It had been a while since he had given Balthazar a second thought and now here he was, crashing down on Cas’s mind. Cas wanted to talk to someone about all this, he really did, but Dean could only help so much since he had never known Balthazar, and Gabriel had finally stopped tip toeing around him and treating him like a fragile butterfly. Cas did not want to open that can of worms again.

Several hours later, when the sun was finally shining, Dean wandered out of the bedroom to find Cas sitting by a window furiously editing something.

“Have you been awake this whole time?” Dean asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Just catching up on some editing.” Cas replied, his eyes squinting at the paper in his hand as he colored the page red. Cas sighed and marked a line through a section of text.

“Hey,” Dean said gently, placing a hand over Cas’s, “Why don’t you take a break? Maybe take a shower or get some breakfast?”

“I already showered.” Cas replied, refusing to look up at Dean. He was afraid to be reminded of the Dean in his dream.

“Is something wrong?” Dean asked.

Cas looked up then at the sound of worry so clearly laced in Dean’s words. He gave Dean a small smile and tried his best to sound calm, “I’m just a little stressed about this manuscript I’m editing, that’s all.”

Cas could tell that Dean wasn’t buying it, but he knew he wouldn’t pry either. Dean leaned over and pecked the corner of Cas’s mouth, “Just don’t work yourself to death.”

“Are you going to talk to your writer today?” Dean asked as he turned the coffee pot on.

“Yeah,” Cas answered. He watched Dean out of the corner of his eye, still afraid that Dean would fly to the ceiling and burst into flames at any moment like in his dream. “I’ll probably be there all day.”

“Okay, well, I have a half day today so Ben and I are going to go out afterwards. If you want to meet up whenever you’re done just give me a call.” Dean walked back over to Cas and handed him a bowl of cereal.

“Will do.” Cas said, smiling at his caring boyfriend. When Dean smiled flames swirled around him, threatening to lick his skin. Cas blinked and the flames disappeared. He quickly looked back down at his papers, shaken.

As Dean and Ben moved around the apartment, getting dressed for the day, Cas focused on his editing. The words swam in front of his eyes, but he was too afraid to look up, scared that the flames in his mind would become real. To Cas it felt like hours before Dean and Ben finally left. He sighed, replaying the hurt sound of Dean’s voice when he had barely acknowledged Dean’s goodbye.

“I need to talk to someone about all this.” Cas said aloud to Cinnamon. The dog stared wide-eyed back at him.

He already knew what his brother would say, so Cas didn’t want to go to him. The dreams were about Dean and Cas did not want him to know about them so he was a no go. Bobby was the next person that came to mind, but there was no way of talking to him without letting Dean know. Cas tried to think of another person he could talk to, but no one came to mind. He didn’t exactly have friends aside from his writers who tended to be drunk most of the time and rambling on and on about weird and crazy things.

Cas jumped up. His writers! He hurriedly got dressed and headed out the door and down the street. He stopped at a gas station to pick up a few cases of beer before continuing on his way.

He patiently waited on the porch after ringing the doorbell, knowing that it might be a moment before the door was answered. Cas heard the crash of something glass and a shout before the door was opened.

“What? Hello?

“Hello, Chuck. Can I borrow some of your time?” Cas asked, holding up the case of beer.

Chuck eyed the beer suspiciously, “You never bring me alcohol.”

“I just need someone to talk to and I’d prefer it if you were a little drunk when we talked.” Cas said, lowering the case to his side, “I mean you’re always a little bit drunk, but I think I’d want you drunker than usual.”

“Don’t I feel special?” Chuck said sarcastically before stepping back and letting Cas in his house.

***

“Is Cas alright?” Ben asked as he handed Dean a wrench.

“Why do you ask that?”

“He just seems kind of jittery and keeps finding reasons to stay home instead of come with us.”

Dean pulled his head out from under the hood of the car and looked at his son. “You’ve noticed that too?”

Ben shrugged, “At first I just thought that’s how Cas was, but I can tell from your reactions that somethings off.”

Dean chuckled. “You’re a pretty smart kid, huh?” he wiped a hand over his sweaty face leaving behind a grease smear. “You’re right, though. Somethings been off. I don’t know what it is, but Cas is strong. He’ll get through it and if he needs us we’ll be there.”

“Who needs another round?” Bobby called. He and Jody came into the garage, several bottles in hand.

“I could go for some beer.” Ben replied, reaching for a bottle.

Dean swatted his hand away. “You aren’t old enough to drink, young man.”

“Well don’t you sound like a responsible parent?” Jody teased. She handed Ben a soda and leaned against the car beside him.

“Where’s Sam?” Dean asked. “He usually has Fridays off.”

“Down at the station.” Jody said. “Said he wanted to go over some files or something.”

“He doesn’t want to come home, does he?” Dean asked, glancing at Bobby’s house.

Jody shook her head.

“Why not?” Ben asked. “Is it because your dad is here, Dean?”

Dean sighed. Last week after his dad had broken into Cas’s apartment Dean had had to tell Ben about him despite the fact that he had originally planned for Ben to never know about him.

“Is it because your dad breaks into houses?”

“Yeah, Kind of,” Dean said without looking at Ben.

“Breaks into houses?” Bobby inquired.

Ben nodded, “Yeah, Dean’s dad broke into Cas’s apartment last week. Did you not tell Bobby, Dean?”

“John broke into Cas’s apartment?” Jody asked, “Has Cas filed a report?”

“Cas doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” Dean said, turning his attention back to the car.

“Not make a big deal? Dean, this is a break in. Did John break anything or take anything?” Dean mumbled no and Jody turned to her husband. “Bobby, you need to go talk to John. I do not want him breaking into houses when his is under our roof.”

Dean shut the hood of the car. “Don’t make this a big thing. Can we just let it go?”

Dean flitted his gaze between Bobby and Jody until Bobby sighed and reached for some more beer. “I won’t make this a big thing. No police. No report.”

“Thank you.”

***

Jody and Bobby waved as the Impala drove off. “I don’t care if it was for a job, you need to talk to John about breaking into Cas’s apartment.”

“I know.” Bobby answered. He handed Jody his beer and kissed her cheek. “I’ll go talk to him now.”

Bobby found John in the guest room bent over maps and notes that were spread out on the bed. “John, we need to talk.”

The corner of John’s mouth quirked up, “Want to join the hunt?”

“No, John.” Bobby crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam. “I want to know why you broke into your son’s boyfriend’s apartment.”

John clenched his jaw at the mention of the fact that his son had a boyfriend. “I did not know that was his apartment.”

“That was not an answer.”

“Castiel Novak is why I was there.” John said, “There is angel activity all around him. His apartment was covered in hidden protection runes and they looked like they’ve been there for quite some time. I looked into his history, too. Castiel was a miracle baby. His parents were deeply religious and desperate to start a family. People from their church said that they were constantly praying for a baby. When Castiel was born they lost their religion and his mother died and his father became abusive and drunk. His older brother Gabriel? Everywhere says that he is Castiel’s biological older brother, but there are no records of him until a little after Castiel was born.”

Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose. “John, this is ridiculous. There is no way Cas is the angel you are looking for. I have angel protection runes around my house and Cas has been able to pass through all of them.”

“I never said he was the angel _I_ was looking for. He’s the _fallen_ angel that other angels are looking for, which means he doesn’t have his grace since he’s fallen.”

Bobby looked up at John, “How do you know that?”

“I don’t for sure.” John said shuffling through his notes, “But he has to be. There are angels protecting him. That brother I mention. Gabriel. He’s either an angel too or he just deals with many other angels I have tracked. Castiel has to be the fallen angel from the way these other angels are protecting him.”

He handed Bobby some notes and continued, “I found out that an angel by the same name was used to expel all the angels from heaven at the same time Castiel was supposedly born. You know as well as I do that it takes an angel’s grace to do something like that and Castiel fits perfectly into this puzzle. Doesn’t this all seem kind of suspicious to you, Bobby?”

“I dunno,” Bobby ran a hand over his mouth, “This kind of seems like you are grasping at strings here. I mean, if Cas really is the fallen angel then they already used him to lock the gates of Heaven, why keep protecting him now that he’s human?”

John tapped to bottom of one of the papers in Bobby’s hand, “I learned that to get the angels back into Heaven the grace of the angel who locked the gates is needed, along with the angel himself. There has been so much angel activity in this area for the past half year. The only question I have is why have these angels waited so long to try and reopen the gates of Heaven if that is what they are trying to do.”

Bobby stared at John. What he was saying made sense, but it also seemed completely mad and insane. He held the pages John had handed him back to the hunter, “Just be delicate with this case, John. Your son is a part of this and I don’t want to see that boy hurt now that he’s finally gotten a stable life.”


	23. Chapter 23

“I thought I’d find you here, Gabriel.”

Gabriel stood up and turned to grin at his boyfriend, “Evening, Daniel.”

“It’s past midnight. Shouldn’t you be working?” Daniel asked. He stepped into the alley and eyed the paint smeared on the ground behind Gabriel. “New art project?”

Gabriel crossed his arms and leaned against the nearby building, his grin never wavering. “Just making sure my brother stays safe.”

“You’re warding the whole building. Seems a bit excessive to me.” Daniel walked over to Gabriel and toed the still wet paint on the ground. “These are to keep angels away, you know, right?”

“You know,” Gabriel said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Being on two different sides of this battle for the gates of Heaven really puts a strain on our relationship.”

“And being Heavenly brothers doesn’t?” Daniel said with a smile as he leaned against the building next to Gabriel. Gabriel stared at Daniel, amused, before reaching out and taking his hand. Daniel glanced at their hands, “Why are you doing this, Gabe?”

“He’s my brother,” Gabriel whispered. “I just want him safe and happy.”

“He’s my brother too,” Daniel replied, “I just want him and the rest of us to go home.”

“Not everyone wants to go home, Daniel.” Gabriel pulled his hand back and looked at his smeared wardings on the ground. “Cas doesn’t even _remember_ home. Hell, I don’t really remember it that well. I left not long after all the fighting started, when humans were just being created. Do you know how many angels I have talked to that are happy living out their days as humans here on Earth?”

“Do you know how many angels there are out there that want nothing but to go home?” Daniel countered. “The gates of Heaven need to be opened, whether all the angels come home or not.”

“Well, you’ll just have to open them without Cas.” Gabriel crouched down to fix the warding Daniel had smudged, “I’m not going to let anything mess up the life that Cas has worked hard to build. That I have helped make as normal and human as possible.”

***

_Fire. There was fire everywhere. Cas screamed and shouted and the whole building shook, but Dean stayed glued to the ceiling. He watched, unable to move, as the flames hungrily wrapped around Dean so quickly that Cas couldn’t see the way Dean’s skin blackened and burned._

_Cas gasped, his throat aching from his screams and the smoke. His vision turned red and then white._

Cas’s eyes flew open and he struggled to catch his breath. Around him the room was dark and beyond Dean’s sleeping form the clock read 2:38am. He ran a hand through his messy hair with a sigh. Yesterday when he had talked to Chuck about his dreams and everything he had hoped it would help alleviate the intenseness of it all, but it seemed to be doing quite the opposite.

Dean moaned in his sleep and rolled closer to Cas. Cas smiled at how peacefully Dean slept. He reached over and touched his face, drawing a gentle sigh from Dean.

Cas lay there quietly for a few minutes before the flames came back to him in a sudden heat wave. He began sweating and had to kick the covers off. Cool air washed over him, but only for a second before the heat came again in full force. Cas climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. When splashing cold water had no affect Cas turned on the shower and stripped.

He wasn’t under the water for five minutes before he heard a knock on the bathroom door. “Cas?”

“Dean,” Cas said, seeing Dean’s silhouette through the shower curtain. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

The bathroom door shut and Cas watched Dean’s form move about the small space, coming closer to the shower. “Its fine, Cas,” Dean called quietly as he moved the curtain to the side so he could step in next to Cas, “Jesus, it’s cold in here.” Dean complained, his bare chest brushing against Cas’s as he moved to make the water warmer. “Why are you taking a cold shower at 3 in the morning?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Cas mumbled, his eyes glued to Dean’s chest.

Dean stepped closer, bringing their naked bodies flush against each other. Cas’s heart beat faster. They hadn’t had much time alone since Ben got here, and Cas missed it. “Talk to me?” Dean asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Cas whispered.

Dean lifted Cas’s chin so that he could stare straight into Cas’s blue eyes. Warm water crashed down all around them, “Cas, somethings been bothering you and I want to help. I thought maybe you’d come to me for help, that you trust me that much, but you’ve only been shutting me out.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. I really am.” Cas felt his eyes tearing up from the hurt look in Dean’s eyes. Dean stared back at him and for the first time in the past couple of days flames didn’t burst around him. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“Talk to me Cas. Please?” Cas shook his head. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from escaping. Dean rubbed his arms, “Is it about him? Is this because of Balthazar? You remember what I told you, that I’ll never let you go? Do you remember that Cas?”

Cas opened his eyes, “I don’t want to lose you,” he gasped, his tears falling in earnest.

“Hey,” Dean murmured, pulling Cas close to him, “I’m not going anywhere. Cas, you hear me? I’m not letting go. You and I haven’t had the best of relationships on the past, but look at us now. You have me, I have you, we have Ben and Bobby and Sam and Jody. I’m not letting go of you, Cas.”

Dean kissed Cas’s face all over, the two clinging hard to each other. When Cas got his crying a bit more under control he told Dean everything. He didn’t mean to, it all just came tumbling out. Dean listened patiently as the warm water ran cold.

“Tell me I’m going crazy, Dean.” Cas said, “Tell me I’m just holding on too tight even though I thought I let go long ago.”

Dean grabbed Cas’s face so that his panicking blue eyes could stare straight into his own green eyes. “This all sounds completely crazy and nuts, but you are not crazy, Cas. I don’t know what is happening to you, but I do know one thing. I swear to be with you. I will fight to stay with you. I love you, Cas.”

More tears swept over Cas’s face, “I love you too, Dean.”

***

John grunted and duck as a knife was thrown at his face. “I know what you’re here for.”

“Ha! You silly hunters think you know a thing or two about this world,” an accented voice purred from the other side of the dark hall.

“Well, we silly hunters know enough to track and kill your kind.” John slowly walked down the hall, blind to the person on the other end. “Tell me somethin’. Are you here for the gates of Heaven? Are you here for the fallen angel who can bring you back home?”

“Home.” drawled the other person. “I guess you might know a thing or two after all.” A knife came soaring out of the dark and John lunged to the left, “I suppose I am here for that. Although, you could also call it searching for my lost love. It just so happens that those two things are hopelessly connected.”

“You sound like a friggin’ romance novel.” John held his gun up and ready, his eyes finally adjusting enough to show him a shape moving along the far wall. “Who are you and why are you here?”

“I just want to go home.” The whistle of another knife flying through the air alerted John and he ducked. “That’s all we’ve always wanted. You’ve found that in your ‘research’, yeah?”

“Why wait so long? Why now? It’s been about thirty-five years since you’ve been locked out of Heaven.”

“Thirty-five years is nothing to angels who have been here since the beginning of time.” John moved closer and pointed his gun at the human shape in the dark. He could make out the way the person shook his head, “Guns are useless against angels, you know?”

“Who are you?” John asked, holding his gun with one hand and casually reaching for the blade in the back on his pants. “Why have you been tearing apart cities around the world for the past few years?”

“I was just looking for something.” John heard a low chuckle and he fired. “You shot me!” came a surprised voice. “Bloody hell! You actually shot me!”

John let his gun fall as he lunged forward with the angel blade he had pulled out. He heard the blade slice through skin before the angel drew back in pain. John managed to grab onto the angel’s shirt and pull him close. It was hard to make out any features in the dark, despite how close John was to him. “Who are you?”

The angel squeezed his eyes shut and John pressed the tip of the angel blade to his neck, repeating his question. The angel gasped and opened his eyes. He smiled at John, “Name’s Balthazar.” he said before disappearing.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so here it is, the last chapter. . .

The next few nights were hard on Dean. At night he and Cas would sleep face to face, holding tight to each other. Dean would lie awake, smiling at Cas until Cas fell asleep first. But even after that the nightmares still came and they only seemed to be getting worse. Dean couldn’t do much besides rubbing Cas’s arm, soothing him until the nightmares passed. He was glad that Cas had told him about them, glad that Cas had decided to let him in and help, but Dean was frustrated that there wasn’t much he could do bedsides be next to him.

“I think being there is enough for now.” Sam said from the other end of the line.

“I just feel so useless. He’s hardly sleeping and he’s like a zombie during the day.” Dean replied. He hadn’t told Sam everything, just that Cas was going through some stuff. He had been hoping his sappy little brother would be able to tell him something that could help Cas, but so far Sam was as useless as Dean felt.

“All I got for you is to be there when he needs it, support him, and make sure you listen to him.” Sam said. Dean grumbled an acknowledgement and Sam laughed, “Just keep doing what you’re doing, Dean. Also, Bobby and Jody and I are going out for dinner, you guys want to come?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll ask Ben and Cas.” Dean said goodbye and hung up. Maybe getting out of the house would be a good distraction for Cas.

During dinner it was hard for Ben to miss the way Cas pushed his food quietly around. At night he could sometimes hear Cas crying out through the walls. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he could tell whatever it was was getting worse.

“School starts next month, right?” Jody asked Ben.

Ben nodded with a smile, “I’ll be in middle school.”

“Middle school’s awesome,” Sam said. “You’ll do well.”

Out of the corner if his eye, Ben saw Dean lean closer to Cas and whisper something to him. Cas shook his head and finally took a bite of his untouched food.

“I hear you’re a smart kid.” Bobby said pulling Ben’s attention away from Cas and Dean.

“Yes, Mom always said I can be a bit of a smarty pants. She said I get that from Dean.”

Dean laughed then as did Jody. “She’s not wrong. Dean’s always had a mouth on him.”

All of dinner was centered on Ben and he started to wonder if maybe everyone was doing that on purpose. He wasn’t stupid. He saw the dark shadows under Cas’s eyes from the past few restless nights he’s had. He saw the way he was always clutching at Dean, as if afraid that Dean would disappear. Ben could also see that everyone else saw it too, but seemed to be more focused on keeping Ben from seeing it.

***

“Did you guys see Cas tonight?” Sam asked as he and Bobby and Jody headed back home. “Do you think it has something to do with what John had said about the angels?”

Bobby grunted, “I don’t think you’re daddy was wrong when he said that Cas is the fallen angel. Something is eating that boy alive and it ain’t something good. I hate to bring you into this hunter crap, Sam, but I think maybe it’s time you learn a thing or two.”

Jody reached to the back seat to squeeze Sam’s shoulder. She gave him a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry, we’ll look out for Cas. He’s family now.”

***

When Dean, Cas, and Ben got home Cas bee lined for the couch and collapsed on it. Dean sank down next to and Ben watched from behind the couch

Dean rubbed a hand over Cas’s back, “You tired? Maybe you should take a shower and get to bed.”

Cas nodded and slowly got up. Ben watched as Dean helped Cas to the bathroom. “Can I help with anything?” Ben asked when Dean came back to the couch.

Dean smiled at him, “Thanks for asking, but honestly I don’t think there is much we can do to help Cas except to just let him know we are here for him.” Ben sat down next to Dean who flipped on the TV. After a few minutes of quiet Dean turned to Ben, “Have you had a good time visiting?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded, “I’m really glad I could come visit and get to know Cas. I’ve had a good time so far.”

Dean grinned with a happy sigh, “Good.”

Later Cas got out of the shower and plopped down on the other side of Ben to watch TV with them. Ben glanced to his left at Dean who laughed as some idiot making a fool of himself on TV then looked at Cas on his right who was smiling too. Cas seemed a lot more relaxed now, although every now and then he would glance at Dean with his brows creased in concern before smiling and turning back to the TV.

Ben hoped that everything would work out okay. He reached out and took Dean’s hand and then Cas’s, squeezing to reassure them both. Reassure them about what, he wasn’t sure, but it felt like the thing to do.

***

 _Cas._ Cas turned over in bed. _Cas._ He pulled the covers closer around his body, feeling the heat radiating off of Dean.

 _Castiel_.

Cas opened his eyes. Someone was calling his name. Cas sat up and tilted his head to the side. _Cas._ There is was again. Cas got up and padded to the hall and then to the living room, but no one was around.

 _Cas_. Drawn by the sound of his name, Cas moved to the apartment door and peeked out the peep hole. When he saw no one he opened the door and stepped into the hallway. _Cas._ It was completely empty, but the sound of his name had gotten louder. Cas walked down the hallway and stopped in front of his own apartment.

He reached out and unlocked the door, slightly confused at the fact that he had his key on him. Inside the apartment everything was the way he left it when he was here last week. _Cas._ He flipped on the kitchen light and waited for the next call of his name. When nothing came Cas turned to head back to Dean’s.

“Castiel,” an accented voice drawled. ”You’ve redecorated.”

Cas whirled around to face his living room where the dark shadows were cast over most of the room. “Who’s there?”

Someone chuckled as the shadows shifted, “You know who, love. You haven’t actually forgotten me after only a few short years, have you?”

“Balthazar.” The name came out as half pathetic whimper and half an angry growl.

Balthazar stepped out of the shadows and into the kitchen, smiling at Cas. Memories came hurdling back so fast Cas got dizzy. “You look good, Cas.”

Cas wanted nothing but to run across the room and pull Balthazar into a crippling hug, but the memory of that pain he had been left with kept him rooted to his spot. “Why are you here?”

“For you, of course, Cassi.” Balthazar replied.

“Why did you leave me?”

Balthazar smiled, “For you, Cas. Everything was for you.”

Cas frowned. He stepped back towards the door, wanting to leave. He reached behind him for the door. Maybe if he just squeezed his eyes shut when he opened them he’d be back in Dean’s bed. Maybe this was all another nightmare.

A strong, familiar hand wrapped around his wrist. “Castiel. All I ever did was love you, truly.”

Cas wanted to wrench his hand away from the person he had thought he could trust, the person he had loved so absolutely, but tears came instead. “Why? If you really loved me then why did you leave?”

Balthazar put his hands on Cas’s shoulder and waited until Cas looked straight into his eyes. “You aren’t a normal person, Castiel. Heck, you aren’t even a human.”

Cas furrowed his brows, “Wha—?”

Balthazar interrupted him, “This is all going to sound insane, I know. Castiel you are not a human. You are an angel of the lord. You were created in Heaven and from Heaven you were thrown over thirty years ago. You and every other angel were thrown out. You are the only angel who doesn’t remember this because your grace was take and used to lock the gates of Heaven and you were presented as a squalling babe to your parents. I came to find you and get you back your grace so that we can all go back to Heaven. Home.”

Balthazar stared pleadingly at Cas, begging him to believe him. Cas shook his head, “You’re insane. None of that could possibly be real.”

Balthazar reached into his pocket and pulled out a vial full of some sort of swirling blue liquid. “This is your grace, Cas. I scoured the world for it and I brought it back for you. I want you to become an angel again. I want you to come home.”

Cas tried to squirm away as Balthazar pressed the vial into his hand, but he stopped when warmth radiated into his skin. He glanced at Balthazar before looking at his hand, his mind telling him to bring the grace closer. Confused and curious, Cas lifted the vial up, his blue eyes tracing the way the grace churned behind the glass in endless patterns. The sensation of happiness and safety filled him the longer he looked at it.

“It’s calling to you.” Balthazar whispered, “You can feel it can’t you?”

Cas wanted to deny him, to tell him he was crazy and send him away, but the more he stared at the grace the more he felt it’s pull. Something deep inside him told him that everything Balthazar said was true.

Balthazar placed his hand over Cas’s, “Once you have your grace back we can all go back to Heaven. We won’t have to deal with these human and their emotions.”

Cas tore his eyes away from the grace and looked at Balthazar. “I don’t want to go to Heaven. I want to be a human, with the emotions. I want to stay with Dean.”

Balthazar sneered. “Dean. Dean Winchester. He’s just a human. He’s going to die someday. He’s going to break your heart. One day he’s just going to let go of you.”

Cas shook his head. “No, he wouldn’t.” Balthazar rolled his eyes. “Tell me something, Balthazar.” the name sounded weird coming from his mouth after so long of avoiding it. “If I go to Heaven with you, what will be there for me?”

“Your family. God. Me.”

“My family? You?” Cas had to laugh despite how unreal this all felt. “You destroyed me. You left me broken and wrecked. Why would I want to go to Heaven to be with you? And my family is down here. My brother, Dean, Ben, Bobby, Jody, Sam. They are my family.”

“Gabriel may be your family, but he isn’t human.” Balthazar said. “He’s an angel too.”

“What?” Cas asked.

Balthazar repeated himself and wrapped his hand around Cas’s that still held his grace. He used his other hand to unscrew the cap and Cas watched in terror as the grace flew from the vial and straight for his face.

He felt it enter him and fill his every cell. He fell to the floor as his whole body shuddered. His back began to ache as if something were trying to break free from under his skin. The building shook and the lights flickered. Cas dimly registered that a strong wind was blowing all throughout his apartment throwing books off of shelves and pushing couches against walls. The sound of shattering glass and shouting were background noise to the loud ripping sound he heard in his ears as something tore through the skin on his back.

When he opened his eyes he was on he hands and knees, staring at the ground. Everything was dark except for a faint blue glow.

“Cas!” Cas looked up as his brother rushed to his side.

“Gabriel?”  Cas asked, wincing at the pain on his back.

“Shh,” Gabriel rubbed his back, “That’s your wings you are feeling.”

“Step away from him, Gabriel.” Cas heard Balthazar say. He looked up to find Balthazar holding a very strange looking silver blade pointed at his brother.

Gabriel pulled his hands away from Cas and slowly stood up, his hands in the air. “Okay, Bal. We can talk about this. Just put your angel blade away.”

“No. I saw the angel warding you put around this building. You don’t want the gates opened. I’ve heard the other angels talking about you. You like these sniveling humans. You want to live among them like you have for so long.”

Gabriel stepped closer to Balthazar. “That’s what God wanted from us, was it not? To love his humans? To love the creatures he made in his image, am I wrong?”

Before Cas could even blink Gabriel had his own angel blade in his hand and was rushing Balthazar. Balthazar ducked and stabbed his blade into Gabriel’s back, right above where his heart was. “I don’t want to kill you, brother.” Balthazar said, “But I will do everything I have to to get back to Heaven.”

Cas screamed as his brother fell to the ground. He was so focused on Gabriel that he didn’t hear to door open behind him. Strong arms grabbed him and he heard his name being shouted.

“Cas! Come on, we have to get out of here. We have to call the cops.” Cas felt himself being hauled to his feet and he turned to find Dean in flannel pajama pants and a black tee.

“Dean?”

Lights flickered and the door behind Dean slammed shut. Dean yanked on it, but it wouldn’t budge. “Dean Winchester.”

Cas twirled around at the sound of Balthazar’s voice. “Dean Winchester. The reason Cas would give up Heaven.”

Dean grabbed Cas’s arm protectively, “Who the hell are you?”

Balthazar gave Dean a bitch face before turning to face Cas. “Really, Cas? You could have done so much better.”

He flicked his wrist and Dean’s hand was gone from his arm. Cas turned to look for Dean and watched in horror as he hit the wall and slowly slid to the ceiling, right above Cas’s head.

“No more distractions.” Balthazar said. He grabbed Cas and pulled him to him so that Cas’s back was to Balthazar’s chest. “If you won’t bring me home, Castiel, then I will get back home myself. Angels weren’t meant to be locked out of Heaven for long.”

Cas stared helplessly at Dean who struggled against the ceiling. “Please, Balthazar, let him go.”

“Let him go? Maybe you should let him go.” Balthazar’s grip on Cas tightened. Cas wondered if he had ever truly known Balthazar. The Balthazar he had known would never act like this.

Balthazar snapped his fingers and a bright light lit the room. It took a moment for Cas to realize that the light was coming from fire. Fire that was circling around Dean. It consumed the ceiling and the apartment around Cas and Balthazar. The only places untouched were where the two of them stood and where Dean was pinned to the ceiling.

It was worse than his dreams. So much worse. In his dreams, Dean had burned quickly, so fast Cas was shocked by the ferocity of the flames, but now they burned slowly. The flames danced around Dean, teasing his skin, making him bite his lip to hold back screams of pain. In his dreams the fire had been scalding hot, but in real life they were beyond scalding, it was as if they were inside the blistering hot furnace of hell. He could hear Dean’s guttural voice, calling his name, cursing Balthazar, crying out in pain.

“Please,” Cas begged. He wanted to tear his eyes away from the fire that was slowly consuming his boyfriend. He wanted to look away because he did not want to see the pain on Dean’s face, but Balthazar wouldn’t let him. Tears slipped down his face, only to be evaporated from the heat in the room.

“You need to watch, Cassi,” Balthazar murmured in his ear sweetly. “You have to let go of everything in your human life. You need to let it all go, You need to let _him_ go.”

Cas shook his head, gasping out a no. Then the screaming started. Dean shouted and screamed as the flames ate at his skin.

“Dean!” Cas cried. “Let him go!”

” _You_ let him go.” Balthazar replied.

Cas called for Dean so loudly that he felt the whole building shake. He wrenched his arms from Balthazar’s grasp and reached for Dean. As he stretched his arm upward Cas felt his grace coiling inside his chest before springing up and through his arm. Blue fires burst all over Dean, smothering the red flames that threatened to tear everything apart.

Cas watched in shock as the blue fire covered the whole room before retreating back to where Dean was pinned to the ceiling, unburned. He fell to the ground, just barely catching himself before his face smacked the floor.

“Dean?” Cas rushed to Dean’s side and helped him sit up.

“Where’d that bastard go? I want to give him a piece of my mind.” Dean said shaking his head.

Cas looked around the room, but Balthazar was gone.

“Hey,” Dean called, “What stopped the flames anyways?”

“Cas’s grace.” Cas looked over to where his brother was struggling to sit up.

“Gabriel.” Cas said as he helped his brother, Dean on the other side of Gabriel.

“I’m fine.” Gabriel said swatting their hands away. He placed a hand over the hole in his chest from Balthazar’s blade and a blue light glowed. “That was your grace, Cas. You stopped the flames.”

“Cas stopped the flames? Grace? What is going on?” Dean asked, completely lost.

Despite being burned alive just moments ago, Dean didn’t look too bad. Cas couldn’t see any burns, his clothes weren’t even burned. “Gabriel, where did Balthazar go?”

Gabriel shook his head and rubbed at his blood stained shirt. “Not sure, but he will come back because you are the only angel who can open Heaven’s gates.”

“Heaven’s gates? Angel? Can someone please explain what is going on?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, but first let me just get cleaned up.” Gabriel replied.

***

“Are you sure this will work?” Gabriel asked.

“No.”

“Some hunter you are.” Gabriel said with an eye roll.

Sam coughed, “I’m not a hunter.”

“Angels, hunters, monsters, this is all so ridiculous.” Dean muttered.

“Just be glad that if this works you won’t have to deal with any of it again.” Bobby said clapping his shoulder.

Gabriel, Sam, Dean, Bobby, and Cas all stood on a small hill in the park by Cas and Dean’s apartment. After their encounter with Balthazar they had gone back to Dean’s place to get cleaned up only to find Bobby, Jody, and Sam already there with a very confused Ben.

Jody was still with Ben at the apartment, but Sam and Bobby had come bearing good news. They had learned about the angels and Cas from John and while they had been getting as prepared as they could to help protect Cas they had stumbled on different ceremonies to open and close the gates of Heaven.

This particular ritual of opening the gates of Heaven required the angel with the grace that closed the gates, Cas, to willingly give their grace to another angel who would then bring the grace to Heaven. The book was unclear as to what the angel had to do upstairs, but it was clear that it would leave the other angel completely without grace and unable to ever set foot in Heaven even after death.

“I’ll take that if it means I don’t have to let go of Dean.” Cas had said to that.

Gabriel had nodded in agreement, “I’ll do anything to make my brother happy.”

And with that the five of them stood on the top of this small hill. Gabriel walked over to Cas and pulled out his angel blade. “Never thought I’d be going back to Heaven, let alone unlocking the gates.”

“You know you don’t have to do this.” Cas said.”

“’course I do.” Gabriel grinned, “I’ll be the talk of the town when we all get back upstairs, maybe things’ll be different for me now.”

“You’re the best, Gabriel.”

“Don’t you forget it.” Gabriel pressed the edge of the blade to Cas’s neck and slowly cut him open. His shining blue grace spilled out and Gabriel held it delicately in his hands. “Catch you on the flip side.” he called before a golden light engulfed him and he disappeared.

“Was that it?” Dean asked.

“I think so?” Sam said looking at his book.

Suddenly the ground shook and Cas grabbed at Dean for support. The night sky lit up for a split second before fading back.

“I think that was it.” Bobby said. “Heaven’s open and back in business.”

The four of them walked back to the apartment, Cas and Dean clutching each other. “I told you I’d fight to stay with you.”

Cas grinned at Dean. He felt so light. His nightmare had come true and it had been horrific, but Dean was still standing next to him. “You didn’t really fight. You were pinned to the ceiling.”

“I tried. That’s all that counts.” Dean said, swinging their joined hands. “And I’m never letting go of you. Don’t ever forget that, Cas.”

“I never will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whelp that was the last chapter, but don't worry, there's going to be an epilogue too. I'll post it in a few day hopefully


	25. Epilogue

“What did you do to your jacket?”

Ben squirmed as his mother readjusted his jacket for the fourth time, “It looks fine, Mom.”

“No, it really doesn’t.” Lisa said back. “You need to stop taking it off.”

“But it’s hot!” Ben whined.

“That’s not my fault, why don’t you go complain to Dean instead.”

“He’ll just say to suck it up.” Ben pouted.

Lisa chuckled, “They suck it up, Ben. Now, you haven’t lost the rings have you?”

“No,” Ben said, patting his jacket pocket with a smile. “I got them.”

“Ben!” Lisa and Ben turned as Sam jogged toward them. “It’s starting soon, you ready?”

Lisa readjusted Ben’s jacket one more time before he followed Sam, feeling completely tiny next to his extremely tall uncle. Sam ran his hands through his hair and smiled at Ben, “They’re going to walk down together and when they reach the end that’s when you make your way down the aisle.”

Ben rolled his eyes, “I know what to do, Sam. Dean made me practice like ten times.”

“Okay, good. I’m going to go sit down then.” Ben waved Sam off and waited just outside the church in the lobby. He peaked through the closed door, watching all the people chatting in the pews. A hand fell on his shoulder and Ben whirled around.

“Hey, kiddo.” Dean smiled down at him, looking amazing in his tux. “You ready?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Ben asked with a cheeky grin.

Dean tousled his short hair, “I’m beyond ready.”

Ben looked past Dean and frowned, “Where’s Cas?”

“Here! Am I late? Has it started?” Cas called as he jogged towards Dean and Ben.

“We wouldn’t dream of starting without you,” Dean said, his eyes roaming up and down a very handsome Cas. “You look fantastic.”

Cas blushed under the compliment. Ben beamed at the two of them, they were so happy.

The church organ began playing and Cas’s eyes got big as he looked at the door leading to the church. Dean reached over and took Cas’s hand, “Everyone’s waiting, you ready?”

Cas gulped and gave Dean a small smile, “Yes?”

Dean squeezed Cas’s hand, “I’ll be right by your side the whole time. I’m not letting go.”

Cas nodded and Ben opened the door for them. Heads turned and people smiled. Cas tried to smiled back, but he was so nervous. He looked at Dean who was smiling brightly and waving at people in the church. Feeling Cas’s eyes, Dean turned his green gaze to Cas and gave him a radiate smile so bright that it could blot out the sun.

The two of them made their way down the aisle hand in hand, eyes never wavering from each other. When they got to the end they turned to face each other, barely aware of the priest the stood next to them. Dean let go of Cas’s hand to reach up and fix Cas’s crooked tie.

The entire ceremony passed in a blur for Cas. He vaguely heard the priest talking, and clearly heard the “I do” that fell from Dean’s lips as Dean placed a ring on his finger. He was startled when Dean pulled him close and kissed him in the church in front of everyone, and disappointed when Dean pulled back to smile at him.

“Are you pouting at your own wedding, Mr. Winchester?” Dean asked with a smirk.

Cas’s pout turned to a smile at the sound of his new name. “That depends, Mr. Winchester, are you planning on kissing me again?”

Dean laughed and pulled Cas in for another long kiss. Around them people hooted and hollered and ooh and awed. After they were done kissing the two of them were pulled from the church to the reception hall where they were ushered to the front table by a hungry looking Sam.

Cas and Dean held each other’s hands as they listened to people give speeches about them. Sam was the last to give his speech, talking about how he has never seen his brother so happy and how he hoped that there would be many happy years to come, ending it with a command for everyone to eat.

“I haven’t given a speech yet.” someone called from the back of the reception hall.

Cas’s head shot up at the familiar voice. Friends and Family swiveled in their seats to make way for a brown haired man. “I’ve known Cas his whole life and Dean’s only known him for three years, but those two have something that comes around once in a lifetime. Something that sparks the moment they meet. Love. Yes, yes, I know. How sappy. Of course they’re in love, or else they wouldn’t be getting married.” Cas smiled at the last person he had expected to see. “I just wanted to say, congrats, baby bro. You found what most people spend their whole lives looking for.”

Cas got up from his spot next to Dean and walked across the room to pull his brother into a hug. “Gabriel, I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Ha! You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Gabriel patted Cas’s back and grinned at him. “But enough about me, look at you! Getting married, settling down. You guys shopping for a house?”

“Just closed on one.” Dean said coming up behind Cas. “It’s good to see you, Gabe.”

“Let’s get a picture of the happy couple!” someone called. “Come on, everyone gather round!”

Cas was jostled until he was pressed firmly against Dean’s side with everyone else crowding around him. There were huge smiles everywhere and the photographer was calling for their attention, but Cas had eyes only for Dean. Dean turned his green gaze to Cas and smile lines crinkled around his eyes. He leaned down and captured Cas’s lips just as everyone shouted cheese and the camera went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, well, that's the last of it. i hope you enjoyed everything and i just want to say thanks to everyone who stuck through my horrid writing till the end!

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked! let me know what you thought. i'm on tumblr (queenbree17)and will gladly take requests!


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